Dear You

[15]

Dear you,

The dance was terrible. You haven't been at school for days and that worries me, but I keep remembering how you told me not to worry and I'm trying, I'm really trying. I was upset when I showed up to the dance and you weren't there. I was upset that not only could I not spend the night with you, I couldn't even spent the night admiring you. 

It was a shame, you know, since you got elected as queen for the dance. When they called your name, I felt my heart drop out of my chest because I knew you weren't there to acknowledge the love people feel for you; they all elected you as queen. I saw the way their eyes scanned the room for you, but you were no where to be found.

I'm going to ride into town and pick up some food for you, incase you're hungry. I'll drop it at your door. I hope you're not home while I'm there. 

Dear you,

I've been really sick lately. I can't recall the last time I got out of bed for something other than having to go to the toilet. I can barely get myself into the bath tub, instead my mother has to drag me into it. I've become weak; weaker than I ever thought I would become.

What people thought of me used to mean so much to me, and it's sad to think that when I say used to, I mean only a few days ago. I was so worked up over the judgement of other people that I didn't even give my own judgement a chance. It has taken me a while to realize that I don't hate me, they hate me. There is a big difference there.

It's flattering to know that people voted for me as queen, however after giving up on what other people feel towards me, I have to admit that I don't care. I wouldn't care if they elected me as president of the country, because I only care about how I feel about myself, and right now I'm trying to learn how to stand by my word. 

I got the food by the way, and I really enjoyed it knowing that it came from you. I was home when you dropped it off, however I was too exhausted to get out of bed to have a peep at who you are.