Mr Arrogant » Book 3

Chapter 17

Yeojun was clinging into me, hugging my neck tightly as she cried in my shoulder.

Changkyun is in front of me, laying on a bed with cords attached to his body and machines barely keeping him alive. My mother woke up right when she was sent to the hospital. And Taehyung is inside the surgery room, getting under the knife of the surgeons to save his father's life.

My heart was aching silently as I tried to stay strong in front of Yeojun. She was still terrified from the gun that was held in front of her forehead. Traumatized from the events myself, I just sighted as I hugged Yeojun tighter and looked at the half-dead body in front of me.

"I'll take Yeojun" my mom came behind me, wearing the hospital clothes as she squeezed my shoulder and flashed me a sad smile. I nodded a bit and kissed Yeojun's forehead as I handed her to my mother.

I kneeled down in front of Changkyun's bed as I started stroking his hair, trying to figure out a way to save his life.

I remembered the doctors that said, that he was escorted too late to the hospital, when they informed me that he is no longer able to listen to what we are saying nor know what's happening around him, that except for the small heartbeats that are filling his chest, and the constant breaths he makes, nothing else shows that he is alive.

My eyes burned as I remembered what they said "His brain stopped working because of a big shock his crane received". My heart stoped when I recalled that I need to make a decision. Wether to keep him alive with just a heart beating thanks to all the machines surrounding him or to kill him and let him go.

Both of the choices were scary. It made me cry even more, hate myself even more, and regret every single minute I spent without him around.

Let him go. My mind said. Which I couldn't understand, I couldn't except it, leaving my only friend to face death. But didn't he already died.

I ruffled my hair and started hitting my head on the bed where he was sleeping as I started crying even louder.

"It's because of me, all this is because of me. We shouldn't have met again, I shouldn't have talked to you at all. You could have been happier now, living the life you always wanted to live, travelling around the world as you always told me you would do. If I wasn't in your life, everything could have been better for you. No problems, no fights, no ending your life." I said between sobs as I held his cold hand and warmed it with mine.

He risked his life to save Yeojun. That's what my mom said. Instead of saving his life and escaping away from the 3 well built men that broke in the house, he decided to stay and fight them just to save my daughter's life. To save my life. He did this for me and I haven't done anything for him. Nothing.

The door opened and revealed Changkyun's doctor who was holding a clipboard in his hands.

"Mrs Lee, have you made your decision already or not yet?" He asked me when I got up and wiped my tears.

I nodded at his question and he handed me the clipboard. I looked at the two boxes, the first one stating that I accept that the doctors stop the machines from doing their work and therefore making him lose the last bit of life left in his body, and the second states that they should wait until he dies naturally. I imagined Changkyun walking in and asking me to tick the first box. That what he would want me to do. To let him go. To leave him. That would be his decision. And obviously, I know that anything Changkyun chooses is the right thing. So I ticked the first box and signed my name as his guardian before making my way outside the room and hiding inside the restroom crying my pathetic life away.

He's gone.

He won't return again.

I lost him.

My only friend.

And it's all because of me.

My tears didn't stoped and my sobs just grew tighter. I felt suffocated as if I am going to die as well and follow my friend. My head ached as I couldn't believe that he won't exist anymore, that he will be just a memory, that one day, I will start forgetting how he looks like, I would forget his voice, his smile, his laugh, his jokes. Someday, he'll be just a part of my past, a sad part and a happy part, but he would never be in my present, he will never be in my future, he'll be stuck just in the past. 

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I was sitting silently on the floor, my face as pale as a paper, Yeojun sitting next to me, silent as well. Our clothes represented our feelings. Sadness. We were both wearing black dresses as we looked at the big photo of Changkyun hung in the middle of the funeral venue. My heart ached each time someone came inside and gave their last greetings to Changkyun. His acquaintances, colleagues, high school and college classmates, but no friends, no family, I was all he had and I let him go.

His parents died in a car accident 5 years ago and since he never knew any other family members he stayed alone the whole time until we met again. However, here he is returning to his loneliness in the coffin he is hid in.
Jimin came in, paid his respect to Changkyun and then came to sit next to me and Yeojun, staying silent as well.

"I can take Yeojun, if you want to stay alone" he said which made a sudden rush of anger brush into my mind. I held Yeojun's arm and made her sit in the other side as I glared at Jimin.

"I am not letting you touch my daughter, wasn't Changkyun's death enough do you want to take Yeojun's life as well?" I kept glaring at him as I protectively hid Yeojun behind my back. "You disappear from my sight, I don't have anything to do with your family. Your sister got all what she wanted: Taehyung and making my life a hell, so congratulate her in my place." My piercing glare made him get up from the floor and bow in front of me before disappearing from my sight, leaving me to think about my sadness.

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A/n: OMG guys I'm latterly crying now. Sorry for being such a cruel and heartless person. What's more cruel is that I fucking killed my MonstaX bias who I loooovveee so much, and now I can't even fall asleep because I am so sad. I'm trying to remind myself that this is an ff but my sensitive self doesn't really listen to me. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Love u guys and forgive me. 🙏😭😢😫