Harry Potter and the Desideratum Crusade [Harmione]

35. Revelations

Harry stormed back to his room and threw himself on his bed, the noise disturbing the phoenix from his slumber in the corner of the room. Albion blinked lazily and looked at the troubled wizard lying on his bed.

'Is there something you wish to talk about, Harry?' he asked.

Harry continued to stare at the ceiling, hands behind his head, ignoring him.

'I do find sometimes, that it helps to talk about any problems that are plaguing you.'

Harry sighed. "We caught Dolohov," he said finally.

Albion perked up at this, and flew over to Harry's bed.

'I take it the Burrow is safe?' he asked.

"I don't think anywhere is safe right now," Harry said sadly.

Albion cocked his head at Harry. 'There is something else that troubles you, though.'

Harry turned and looked accusingly at Albion.

"No one told me how dangerous Legilimens could be."

Albion looked at Harry closely.

'What happened to Dolohov, Harry?' he asked after a minute.

Harry closed his eyes, seeing the whole scene play out again in his mind.

"I sent him here, thinking if we knew where Voldemort was, we could keep an eye on him. Ron and Hermione came with me. Dolohov made several disgusting suggestions about Hermione and...I lost my temper. He refused to tell me where Voldemort was, so I used Legilimens, and none too gently either."

He took a shuddering breath and turned to look at Albion with pain filled eyes.

"I destroyed his mind. He's no better now than the Longbottoms, and I'm no better than Voldemort or his Death Eaters. The only thing that stopped me from ending his life was Hermione. I would have killed him without giving it a second thought," Harry turned and looked back towards the ceiling. "Maybe she was right. Maybe I am becoming as evil as him. I don't know if I want to feel any different. Having some of those emotions are just too...painful," he mumbled as he rolled over to sit up at the edge of the bed, his head in his hands.

Albion ruffled his feathers and made himself more comfortable beside him.

'I've always told you that your temper will get you in trouble.'

Harry turned and scowled at him, but said nothing.

'As I have said before Harry, you are a powerful wizard. You need to learn to be in control of your emotions or they will control you,' Albion said.

"He deserved it," Harry said defensively, as he traced the pattern in the floor with his eyes. He was just going to follow the pattern all the way to the end of the room and escape from this. Then he wouldn't have to feel anything...

'Why did you attack him, Harry?' Albion asked after a few moments.

Harry shrugged. "He wouldn't tell me where Voldemort was."

'I think perhaps it was more than that,' Albion said. 'You were trying to protect someone.'

"Why wouldn't I? She's my friend," Harry said, darting a glance at the bird.

'I want you to answer something, Harry, and be honest. Would you have done the same thing if it had been Miss Lovegood? Or even Miss Weasley?'

Harry sat up and took a deep breath, ready to retort that yes, of course he would, but the look that Albion gave him made him pause. Would he have reacted the same way? He would have been angry, but would he have felt like destroying the man for making such suggestions?