body image. oof.
this is my first time talking about how I actually fell about my body, it's come up with friends but I prefer not to share. here I am
I'm tall. I'm 5' 9"and maybe still growing and I'm 80% legs, I weigh at most 120. which means I have a BMI of 17.7, I'm not obsessed with my weight like some girls my age, I weighed myself to be accurate and looked up my BMI. I don't care or monitor what I put in my body which I probably should for my health. but I'm naturally on the slimmer side I guess.
Despite that, I have struggled with the way I feel about my body, felt like I had to lose weight. I knew I should not since I am a healthy weight. I have hated my body before, not just my weight but just they way it is, I have a short torso and very long legs, my hips look weird. Which I still believe but I'm on a road to self love bc life is too fucking short to get your tits in a twist over what your body looks like just to regret worrying about such a stupid thing years down the road. and I guess I do feel lucky to have the body I have, even though it's like trying to tame a mountain lion finding pants that fit in all the right places.
another part of my body I don't like is my face, it's hard for me to get on board with that part of the self love. i think I've come very far from absolutely hating my face to being okay with it, sometimes I look cute, and random people have come up to me to tell me I'm pretty so that makes me feel good. but there's one part of my face that I hate, that I've been bullied and picked on for, that's made me cry, and at this point I'd rather not share the details of it but I have yet to love it, at school I still try to cover it, I try to find I way to smile that doesn't make it more accentuated. but I hate it, it's one of the most hated and made fun of facial features to ever exist I think. and if your thinking of the one most awful facial feature someone could have, the most unfortunate facial feature someone could have then yes you've guessed right. and you're thinking no a teenage girl, no she couldn't - yes yes I do.
but really the point is that you should love yourself, all your "imperfections" because they are beautiful. and as long as your weight isn't negatively affecting your health then you shouldn't feel like you have to change just to conform to the "ideal" image someone else has formed for you because of their own insecurities. if you every feel like you're stuck on the ground and you can't get up or even if you just feel alone, know that there are other people feeling the exact way you are.
and if you're ever feeling down feel free to drop your insta
anyways, love yourself you're beautiful and later dudes
YOU ARE READING
me being way too personal with the internet
TilfeldigI know you're looking for fan-fiction, but this,,,, it's just my life. It's a diary but you see,,, it's for the entire internet to have access to. see? isn't that funny?
