Breaking The Mirror [Edited And Complete]

Past Reality

...beautiful...

He'd told me I was beautiful. That has to mean something, right? More than the way Linda calls me cute and Corin calls me pretty? Just more, right? Or is that just wishful thinking again? ...Has to be.

And damn it, I wish I could go back in time. I wish I'd never fallen for him, because maybe I would have preferred Charlie fucking me to this. At least I didn't love Charlie, not really, not like I love Seaton. At least it wouldn't have hurt so much because Charlie wanted me, and I knew it. Seaton called me beautiful, but in the long run, does that mean anything?

Seaton looks so perfect standing there, in the dim light of the apartment (our apartment) and I can't stand loving him this much. It makes me want to die. It makes me want to live.

He waves shortly from his bedroom and squints his eyes away from the light.

"Yeah, sorry, I've got a huge migraine... did you eat?" He asks a bit groggily, and I know he was sleeping and woke up upon my entrance. Damn light sleeper, ex-cop bastard.

"I'm fine," I reply easily, frowning. I'm so relieved that he's here. But... I feel bad that I doubted him. Do I even have the right to doubt him, after everything he's done for me? I'm such an idiot.

"That's not an answer, brat," He snorted and shakes his head, and then winces from the movement. I want to help, to hold his head gently in my lap and stroke it and kiss it, and just be there...But I have to stop. Shut the fuck up, Jayden, you fool.

I ask carefully, "Do you need anything... for your headache?"

"You still didn't answer, brat. Don't evade."

"I did, at work," I lie. It's okay though, because I'm not hungry anyway. And if I do get hungry...well, I can find the refrigerator for a snack or something, There's no need to bother Seaton for anything else. "Do you need anything?"

"I'm fine, Brat. Shut up and worry about yourself."

"Sorry for waking you... um, you should go to bed..."

He nods in agreement and rubs the back of his neck, "Yeah..." He turned around, back toward his room, but then looked back at me with those searing, narrow eyes of his, "... but hey, wake me up if you need something."

"...Okay."

He snorts, because he knows it's a lie too.

Then he disappears into the darkness of his room and I sigh, running a hand through my hair, deciding to take a bath. I get in, wash myself, try to relax, and get out. I avoid the mirror at all costs and then go to my room and collapse in my bed. My shoulder twinges slightly, since I landed on it so hard, but I ignore it and merely shift onto my stomach and bury myself in the covers until I almost disappear.

And thus ends my second day without kisses.

-

"Ah –Jayden, wait, before you leave, one question!"

I sigh softly, reading his mind. Mr. Spencer is a great guy, but a little too—

Overbearing. Fathering. Protective. Worrisome. They all fit, and he likes me, treats me like a son, but he's not my dad. My dad is in prison, he's in prison, and no matter how nice Mr. Spencer is, that's not going to fucking change. And stupid fucking college won't either.

"Yes, Mr. Spencer?"

"Have you thought any more about -?"

"Yes"

"And have you come to a -?"

"No."

And I walk out, running my hand through my hair yet again and taking a deep breath, ducking into the bathroom for a moment before going outside. To face Seaton. And...wait.