Seraphina's Awakening

Epilogue:

Subconsciously, Nathanael finds himself walking along the main road of Angelica. A place known to locals simply as 'The Avenue.' He needs some time away from her. Every time he's around Sarah, his judgment clouds. He requires a clear head to think. This is a very dangerous path he's headed down. It's getting harder and harder for him to keep a level head. His life has become strange. On one hand, he has spent every waking moment with Sarah. He has gotten to know almost everything about her. Sometimes he thinks he might know her better than she knows herself. But, on the other hand, he doesn't understand why he feels this way. Why does he notice her like this? Guardians aren't supposed to be so close to their subjects.

It started out as curiosity. What's happening to this girl? What's she dreaming about? What's with the vial around her neck? But now, it's ... more. His feet drag along the concrete sidewalk as the end of the empty street grows darker. The beat of his heart echoes in his chest. He doesn't remember hearing such things in Heaven, and it was so much quieter. Sarah's not the only one going through changes. The longer he remains on Earth, the more he... feels. He feels strange stirrings inside of him that he's not used to.

He can't seem to control anything. All these emotions are coming at him all at once. He's never felt such things before, and now to be feeling them all at once, it's unbearable. He wasn't trained for this. He's not adaptable like humans. How is he to cope?

What may have started out as curiosity has turned into fascination. Everything she seems to do is funny or amazing. From the way her nose crinkles a little when she smells something funny, to the way she can look angelic even when she is crying. Then there's the fact that he can't bear to be too far away from her.

Is this how Secs feel? Clammy hands, heart beating wildly, emotions he can't control that seem to come out of nowhere. Like the other night, with Jack. He witnessed one date, and it sent him into a temper tantrum like a child, tossing pots and pans around the coffee shop. Just now when he kissed her, it took everything in his power not to kill him. He had to rip himself away from her. Nathanael needs to get a grip on reality. No matter what it is that he is feeling, he will never be able to do all that Jack can.

Maybe, that's what he hates the most. He will never be able to have any interaction other than protecting her. He will never hold her, touch her, feel her. She will never even know he's there. Eventually, he will have to watch her fall in love with someone else, and get married to someone else.

Shaking his head, he starts walking again. Nathanael comes to sit on a nearby bench. Beside him stands a post with a map on it. Is there nothing he can do about this? His options weigh heavy on him. It's not as if he can return to God and request another assignment. Sure that would go over well. He can picture it now:

Kneeling before the ivory throne, "Uh, God, you know that girl you sent me to guard? Well, I kind of fell in love with her. So would you mind sending her a replacement?

Then comes the feeling of disappointment from the Lord. The amusement plastered across Raziel's face.

He pauses for a second, wait, did he just say love? Is that what this is?

A large, long automobile stops before the bench. The doors fold open and a few people disembark before it continues off into the night. Nathanael still sits there staring into the road before him.

Love. I ... I love her. Good grief. This can't be good. There is nothing he can do about this. He will be forced to watch her from the sidelines always playing along in the background. He will never be able to feel her touch or to even hear her say his name. This is the most torturous form of punishment ever imaginable. What did he ever do to deserve this?