Letters from India

98. Injuries, PN Mom & Circles - Dec 1988

By the way, with my small accidents lately, I just put vibhuti (before applying creams, powders and dressings) and all pain goes, not to return! Even on the hand gash I didn’t have pain. Yesterday I got another deep cut somehow, on the bottom of the little toe on my foot. Must be something in the stars, perhaps my 5th moon in the house of the 7th sun has entered the zodiac of deep small cut incidents…?! Ha, ha! ;-)

Stay well - have a bliss-filled Christmas. May we all discover that which we are seeking (so close yet so far!).

Love,

Divya

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My Prasanthi Nilayam Mom

December 1988

Prasanthi Nilayam

Sai Ram,

I told Venkamma that you send your namaskars and that you thank her for being my mom in Prasanthi Nilayam. She was amused and pretended that you, Mom, had done a fine trick putting responsibility on her shoulders! I started to joke that I wanted this and that (Telugu calendar, hair oil etc.) because in India, the parents constantly have to fulfill every small wish of their children, even grown children! I had a fun time teasing her.

I don’t remember if I wrote, that recently Sai sent a last and final warning to the back-side Mandir volunteers, that if it doesn’t get quiet there, He’ll close the side for all ladies! No more sitting in Mandir! So all is sooo silent now, volunteers are practically on complete mouna! (It was the volunteers who were loudest!) They dare not even whisper to one another!

Venkamma always gives me advice and I follow it to the letter. When the hand still looked awful to me after days, I showed it to her and she said it was all healed, practically gone and what am I complaining about! Later I showed it to a Doctor Amma that same day, and she repeated the very words of Venkamma - it was like an English translation of what Venkamma told me!

Parvatamma’s family members still go out of their way to lovingly inquire of my welfare (as long as Parvatamma isn’t around!), and say their ‘Sai Ram’s. I still wonder what Parvatamma tells people when they ask where Divya is!

Most Indians laugh when I said I won't get married, they agree and sympathize! Most of them, even Venkamma, start to give me a lecture on the troubles and responsibilities of family life, and they end up saying that worshipping Sai is enough and I'm smart not to marry!

Sai Ram!

Love,

Divya

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Strange Feeling of ‘Circles’

December 14, 1988

Prasanthi Nilayam

Dear Peoples,

You know the strange feeling of ‘circles’?! Now Venkamma is talking to me daily and even feeding me almost daily, plus sometimes giving me Swami’s prasad (she doesn’t cook for Him, but she gets from her daughter-in-law who does). It’s a strange feeling of “circle” I get, when I think it was exactly one year ago that I became really involved with Parvatamma, her feeding me twice a day, having me do work etc. Venkamma also sends me on errands now! But such a difference: with Parvatamma it was all a worldly type of affection I had for her; but with Venkamma, I cannot get over the feeing that she is Divine, that I am in the Presence of a goddess – no matter how ordinary she acts or how I treat her like an ordinary person.

It’s true that spiritual life is strange – just waiting, waiting, it seems to me. That’s why I'm here - if I have to wait so long, I only want to be here in the meantime!

SH and Rohani (the Malaysian girl who is outside) are two who constantly cry, cry, cry and pang and yearn for Sai, for moksha. It’s amazing how they can go on for years thus! (SH – 9 years; Rohani 3 years here). Such intensity! They’re also waiting, I guess. I say “waiting” but I suppose that Sai is simply quietly but surely preparing us for high spiritual states.

See, I’ve made a resolution not to stay in the village. First, it’s an awful place (even if only used to sleep at night and store luggage) and second, people who stay outside get a bad reputation and I feel it’s not in my karma to be an “outsider” of Prasanthi Nilayam. At this time, when I'm still fresh from exile, Swami knows I'm not in a state to leave again. I don’t think He wants anything drastic to happen to me (although you can never tell with God!), so I think He’ll let me stay for now. They’ve just renewed my PR card for another 10 days (up till December 17th) which is a mystery to me!! And then it’s very near to Xmas so they’ll let me stay up till Near Years.

Hand has healed nicely but scar is there. Over lip is slight scar.

Barbara sends her greetings – your greetings to her were affectionately received – she says.

Venkamma sends her Blessings.

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu

Love,

Divya