Almost Positive

Roller Coasters or Ferris Wheels?

I saw his car pull up and before my parents could even look out of the window, I hurried out of the door. I left Abigail with them, forgetting that she was even there. As soon as I sat down in the passenger seat, I could smell Justin's cologne. I loved the crisp, sophisticated smell. It made me want to hug him and never let go.

"You look pretty." He moved my hair from my eyes and kissed my forehead. Butterflies. Butterflies everywhere. I smiled and pushed the same strands of hair behind my left ear.

"Thank you." I pulled my seat belt on and waited for him to do the same. He didn't. I stared at him, blankly.

"What?"

I knew that waiting for him to put his seat belt on would take forever. I also knew if we sat there any longer, my parents would be rushing out to meet him. I leaned over him and pulled the seat belt over his chest, clicking it in place. "Drive." I commanded.

A few moments passed before he hit the pedal. "That was cute, you know."

I looked at him, waiting for an explanation. "What?"

"That you wanted me to be safe. I usually wear my seatbelt." He paused. "No, I don't. I will if you want me to, though." He offered.

"Please, do."

"So where are we going?" He asked me.

"Wait what?" I was confused. I liked boys that took control but not too much. Justin picking the restaurant we ate at, wasn't overstepping his boundaries if that's what he had thought. In fact, I'd like it better if he did. It's a good thing for a guy to be able to make decisions, even this small.

"I'm kidding. We're going to eat at my place. I made dinner, if that's okay?"

"Sure." I was under the impression that we were going out, my parents would kill me if they knew I went to his house. I didn't know if I liked or disliked the fact that he had cooked for me. No one had ever done that for me before. We drove for about fifteen minutes before pulling into a cozy neighborhood. The neighborhood seemed to have circles within circles within circles. It was confusing but finally we were turning left, pulling into a final circle, and then turning right into a twisty driveway. A large house stood before me, not too big, but big. It was smaller than mine but had a much bigger yard that was neatly landscaped. Mine was the opposite. He parked his car in the garage and a dog wandered out of the house. He told her name was Shala and that she didn't bite. She was only a tiny Yorkie but dogs freaked me out a little, secretly. That's a story for another time, though. The garage entrance led into the laundry room which led into the kitchen. The ceilings were sky high with the biggest chandelier I've ever seen in my whole life, at the top. My house was bigger but his took the prize in decor.

"Aren't your parents home?" I wondered as I speculated every detail of the sunflower yellow painted walls before me.

"My mom is out. My dad doesn't live here. He lives in Canada, actually."

"Wait, are you from Canada?" I asked him.

"Born and raised." My heart melted as his lips parted, his cheeks turned red and his face lit up. His teeth were perfectly aligned and his lips were the perfect balance between nude and pink. Oh, how I loved staring at him. As beautiful as he was, I was staring a little too much, I looked away, bashfully.

The kitchen smelled like thanksgiving dinner. There were so many aromas coming from all different directions. It was hard to pick one distinct one but my love and constant craving for gravy led me to smell that immediately. I was hoping that everything tasted as well as it smelled.

"Hope you like turkey!" He exclaimed as he pulled it out of the oven, careful not to burn himself.

I smiled and shifted my hands beneath my thighs. "I knew it smelled like thanksgiving."

"Maybe I wanted to express how thankful I am to have met you." He placed the turkey on the counter and suddenly, I felt weird. Thankful to meet me? That had to have been a joke.

"Do you have a bathroom?"

"Doesn't every house?" He joked.

"You know what I mean." I didn't laugh. I don't even think I smiled.

"Down the hall, to the left." He directed me.

I followed his directions and ended up in a pantry. I guess he didn't mean the first left, but the second. The bathroom was painted a deep green, everything else was white. I did t even have to use the bathroom, actually. I just wanted out of the awkward, 'I'm thankful that I met you' talk. I walked back out to the kitchen but before I got there I passed the grand dining room. He was setting a table long enough for fourteen people. It was only us two though. There was a candle in the middle and food all around. I thought it was a ridiculous amount of food but an insanely cute gesture.

"Come! Sit!" He called.

I sat at one end and waited for him to sit at the other. He offered to get my food for me but I refused. I liked to do things on my own most of the time. We made small talk, not about the weather but about things that actually mattered if you wanted to get to know someone. Finally, I asked the question I'd been wanting the answer to for a while.

"Justin, what are we?"

He stopped eating and stared at me for a long time. "What do you want to be?"

I shook my head. I don't know what I was expecting him to say but I didn't expect the question to be turned around on me either. We were acting like a couple but I didn't feel like one. I still felt alone and that's what told me we weren't ready for a relationship. "I don't know." I simply said. It wasn't a lie because I truly didn't. I was confused, as always.

"Roller coasters or Ferris wheels?" His eyes twinkled and I could tell whatever he had been thinking, must've been a lightbulb going off for him.

"Uh, Ferris wheel. Why?"

He nodded, agreeing with me. "We will go slow then. For right now, were friends... Friends with benefits."

"That was a clever and creative way to think about that. Friends with benefits sounds good to me." In reality, it wasn't okay with me. I had a deep desire for more. I knew that I wasn't the type of person to fall too fast too soon though.