Iplier House

Unexpectedly Expected Addition

"I'm Bim Trimmer." Bim winked to the mirror, giving it a sly smile before he headed out of his room and straight down to the kitchen. He liked to wake up early, since the house seemed a lot quieter in the mornings. He put on the coffee before he stretched out and grabbed himself the #1 Game Show Host mug, that he definitely hadn't had specially made for himself. Just as he took his first sip of coffee, he heard familiar giggling from the living room and slowly made his way in. He kept a close eye on the man as he approached cautiously. "Morning Wilford."

Wilford Warfstache who was standing at the glass door, turned his head and smiled at Bim, waving him over. "Hello!" He grinned.

Bim smiled and wandered closer, glancing outside to see what Wilford had been giggling about. "What's he doing?" He asked, watching King of the Squirrels, standing in the back yard and waving frantically at a tree.

"I strapped a fake squirrel to that branch last night." Wilford chuckled. "He's been talking to it for like twenty minutes."

"No way!" Bim chuckled, leaning closer to the glass door and squinted his eyes. "By fake squirrel, do you mean obvious child's toy?" He snorted.

Wilford shrugged. "Yeah well, not a lot of stores sell realistic squirrel models. I'm kind of sad I spent the money on that though. He probably would have been fooled if I wrote squirrel on a sack of flour." He wiggled his mustache.

Bim stared at King, who was frantically jumping around as he talked to the toy. "Can King even read?" He muttered.

"I... have no idea." Wilford sighed. "Does he really need to though?"

"Guess not." Bim chuckled.

"What're ya chuckle heads doin'?"

Bim groaned softly, glancing behind him and forced a smile. "Morning Ed. We're just watching King-"

"Waste of time." Ed muttered. "Hey, what turns you guys on?"

Wilford swayed his hips a little. "Depends what we're talking about. I mean sometimes-"

"Gross. Nevermind." Ed grunted. "Forget I said guys. Bim, what turns you on?"

Bim sighed. "Why?"

Ed shrugged. "Production is down."

"Of course it is. Talk to the doctor about drugs or something, would you?" Bim bit his lip.

"That's not a half bad idea!" Ed playfully punched Bim in the shoulder before he turned and headed out.

"My turn ons aren't that weird." Wilford shrugged.

"Do any of them involve knives?" Bim asked hesitantly.

"No." Wilford chuckled. "Stabbing is a different kind of satisfying."

"Good to know." Bim muttered, nodding slightly. "Oh god, King's climbing the tree."

"Dammit." Wilford groaned, looking back outside. "He's got to figure it out now."

Googleplier stepped into the living room and sighed. "We have a situation."

"Damn right, we do." Wilford tilted his head. "King's petting that damn thing. He still thinks it's real."

Bim giggled, doubling over and shaking his head. "He's going to try and pet more squirrels now! When he gets bit, it's your fault Will!"

"I meant the strange men on our lawn." Google sighed. "Where is Darkiplier?"

"His office." Wilford glanced over. "What men?"

"Thank you." Google nodded and walked out.

"What men?!" Wilford called after him again, before looking at Bim. "Fans?" Bim shrugged and before he could react any further, Wilford was headed to the office and he felt compelled to follow.