Captain Underpants: Bad Dolphin AU; The Full Story

Chapter 6: Itchy Gitchie Goo

Walking into the school, George feels like he shouldn't even have made the effort to come this day. For the few minutes it took him to prepare for school, he couldn't restrain himself from scratching all over his body. He also couldn't discern why he was so itchy, though a reasonable cause would be the radioactive glop that made contact with him whilst he was frozen in place. Being plagued with the thought of his best friend becoming humorless as well, George is barely feeling so-so at the particular moment.

Arriving in his science class, he's greeted with the presence of a new science teacher. George takes his seat next to Melvin, who eyes him suspiciously for a second, only to quickly return his attention to the teacher that is writing their name on the black board.

"You look terrible." Melvin clarifies in a hushed tone, not at all trying to soften the blow of his statement. "Did you catch Ebola or something?"

George responds with an aggravated sigh. In all honesty, he does look pretty terrible, a little sicker than usual, even. One could argue that this was just a byproduct of the time he had fallen asleep. He'd spent the whole night attempting to overcome his itchy skin, failing to do so, then laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling in a daze, thinking of how he'd approach Harold after not giving him a proper farewell. Watching your best friend leave your treehouse without speaking isn't a very courteous way to say goodbye.

"Hello, class. My name is Ms. Ying, and I am your new science teacher." She grunted, seemingly maintaining the stereotype of all the rest of teachers. Though, upon closer inspection, it looked as though her day was just going poorly. "As you may or may not know, today is show and tell."

Straight away, George is stricken with a realization. He'd left what he was going to present at the treehouse, when he was making the comic with Captain Underpants. George sinks into his chair, releasing another sigh, though this one was much less audible. On his right, Melvin has his hand raised, volunteering to go first.

"Teacher! Pick me! I want to go first!" Melvin begged, applying extra height to his raised hand by pulling on it with his other.

Ms. Ying gestures towards the front of the class. "Go ahead." Melvin quickly skips his way toward the back of the room and grabs a utility cart obscured by a white sheet. As Melvin pushes it to the front of the class, George hears some squeaking and little paws scattering around inside something.

"Didja bring a possum from your backyard?" George jests. Melvin returns George's previously voiced groan and ignores the statement.

"Presenting my newest invention, the Combine-O-Tron 2000!" Melvin uncovers the cart to unveil two things: his invention modeled after an ice cream cone, and a hamster in a cage. Along with the hamster, inside the cage was a robotic body shaped exactly like the animal beside it.

Excluding George, the room was filled with adoring faces at the sight of the adorable creature. Melvin pouts in a somewhat disgruntled manner at the sentiments, but continues with the demonstration. "I will use this machine to fuse Sulu, my hamster, with this metallic body, making him the first ever bionic hamster!" Melvin asserts. Sulu squeaks and imitates his owner's stance, inducing laughter. Ms. Ying even chuckles a little at the small rodent.

George stares intently at the hamster, and starts to wriggle in his chair uneasily. Sulu looks in George's direction and picks up it's tiny feet to get closer to the glass it was encased in. Feeling a bead of sweat trickle down his face, George averts his gaze. He feels inexplicably and irrevocably esurient. He passes his hunger off as a lack of breakfast, but he decides not to turn to look at Sulu again.

Melvin sets the Combine-O-Tron on the floor momentarily, and situates Sulu and the bionic body on top of the cart. The brown creature hops over to his stern-faced master. "Now, remember what we practiced, Sulu. No moving around while I try to do this, I don't have the time or the patience for your shenanigans." Sulu spins in a circle, presumably in accord with his instructions. His paws pad across the cart and he stands adjacent to the endoskeleton.

Melvin pulls out some goggles from his pocket, and presses a couple buttons on the Combine-O-Tron's keyboard as it starts up. It emits a high-pitched noise that fills the room, causing discomfort to all who were hearing it, especially George. A laser shoots out from the mechanism and it blasts both Sulu and the mechanical parts, enveloping the two in a bright light. The students cover their eyes, and when they re-open them, they are surprised to see the result of this.

The little bundle of fur squeals and bounces around joyously, probably being happy to have survived being shot at. Everyone, including the teacher, is amazed at this. "Come on, Sulu, fly!" Melvin demands, though with more delight than outright forcefulness. Sulu complies, and does a few loops in front of the black board. "Yes! I knew it'd work!" Melvin removes the goggles and replaces them with his glasses, so he can get a better visual.

Sulu lands atop George's desk, and quizzically tilts his head at the boy who is so desperately trying not to look at the fluffy animal. He squeaks, and George's heart skips a beat as he staggers out of his seat, and rushes to the teacher's desk. "'Scuse me, Ms. Ying," George quavers, "Could - could I step outside for a second?" The teacher doesn't seem to mind, and George darts for the door, opens it, and slams it behind him.

"What's his deal?" Melvin mutters under his breath, before returning his attention to his classmates. They were still in awe, but they each wore similar expressions that all told Melvin the same thing. "You can pet him." Melvin grimaces, but the other children payed no mind to the way he says this. As soon as he concurs, all of the students run over to the newly bionized hamster. Even the teacher brushes past to receive a closer look. "Uh, hello? My grade? What about my invention?" He shouts, but he is drowned out by the other kids' enjoyment.

In the hallway, George is standing a few feet from the door to the classroom. "I - that was just... I was just hungry, it didn't have anything to do with the hamster," he reasons. He gets a piece of paper from his pocket and unfolds it to reveal its contents. Written on it was a note from his mother, who had taken a trip with her husband for confidential reasons that George wasn't allowed to know about.

Take care of yourself, sweetie. And don't get into any trouble while we're gone. -Mom. There was a heart at the bottom of the page, and the words were presented in delicately penned cursive, not at all like the sloppy, illegible kind some of his fellow classmates wrote out. "Just wait till you hear about this, Mom," George mumbled, "your favorite son almost went ballistic over a cute li'l hamster."

He stashes the note back in his pocket, and reaches for the doorknob, unsure if this was enough time for him to collect himself. Amidst his thoughts, though, he doesn't notice the stomping resonating from further down the hall. "GEORGE!" A familiar voice snaps George out of his pondering, and he swivels around to find none other than his irate principal. He already knew what was coming.

"In my office. NOW!"

It seemed like each time they went to Krupp's office, the distance got shorter and shorter. Before he knew it, George was already inside the miniature prison. The wall behind Krupp's desk was plastered with an extra sticky slime, it's consistency being particularly similar to that of molasses. Papers and folders are also stuck to the wall, and all of this outlined the shape of the principal, who undoubtedly opened his topmost drawer to find a very out of place substance waiting for him.

"Do you have an explanation for this, Mr. Innocent?" Krupp fumed, the frown on his face extending further as George stifled a giggle. "Don't laugh, answer my question! I know you did this. You are the only other person who's been in here besides myself!"

"Well, you don't technically have any proof." Krupp knits his brows further and his frown becomes a scowl. "But...yes, I did do that."

Krupp is readying himself to explode when George starts scratching at his temple, his expression changing from an amused one to one that portrayed some level of annoyance. "Hey, stop doing that."

"Look, Mr. Krupp, I know you hate me, but you can't prevent me from being itchy."

"No, really, stop it. Look at your hand."

Puzzled, George first looks up at Krupp, who is staring at him with his mouth slightly agape. Then, he looks at his hand.

"Why're you lookin' at me like tha- AGH, MY HAND!" The tips of his fingers, and though he himself couldn't see it, the portion of his head that he'd just touched, changed from their original color to a greenish color, that faded into his skin.

"I - I should call your parents." Krupp stammers, reaching for his phone. George remembers the note he received and attempts to figure out another way to handle the situation. This day was just not working out in his favor.