Captain Underpants: Bad Dolphin AU; The Full Story

Chapter 3: A Finicky Fellow Foiled, But Not Finished

Melvin scans through the affected children of the elementary school. 'He's not one of them...' The person who he happens to be looking for is trying to figure out a way to stop him and Poopypants from destroying the kids', and the people of the world's senses of humor. 'If he's just like me, then we'll get along just fine! And I won't have to worry about his and George's pranks delaying my studying anymore. It'd be a total win-win. Well, for me at least.'

"Captain Underpants, that's the guy we're trying to stop." George says pointing toward the giant toilet.

"Ah, I see! A sentient toilet. Everyone's worst nightmare..." The captain responds.

"No, not the toilet! The guy controlling the robot. Ya know, the one you hired as a science teacher?" Harold, George's best friend, intervenes. "The toilet's actually kind of cool."

The two boys run outside, amongst the group of kids, they were the only ones unaffected. It was like being in a zombie apocalypse, except these were the most boring zombies in known history.

Harold and George use Captain Underpants as a sort of distraction while they make their way to the top of Melvin's robot. They get caught, however, and Captain Underpants is ostensibly defeated by Professor Poopypants, by being dropped into the toilet bowl filled with a radioactive liquid.

'That looks painful, I hope they're okay...what am I saying? They're fine, everything will be better if everyone is the same, like the Professor says.' Melvin thinks as he watches Harold and George's hahaguffawchuckleamuluses, the funny little purple area of the brain, be successfully disabled. Harold is first, and then George. That would have been the end of it...if Poopypants hadn't said 'Uranus.' By mentioning that, he revitalized their HGCs and they broke the Turbo Toilet using the power of laughter. Melvin gets rolled away inside of some large toilet paper, becoming dizzy for a spell.

George removes himself from the large hand of the mech, and checks to see if Harold is okay. He's fine, and they chuckle for a moment, until Poopypants hops out of the collapsed toilet, and fires his newer ray gun at George. Harold pushes him out of the way, and gets hit instead. Afterward, Harold just stands still, his face devoid of any emotion, as it had been when he'd first been blasted by the ray from the Turbo Toilet.

"Harold? Hey, Harold, snap out of it!" George says, trying to rouse him. Harold remains motionless, blankly staring off into the distance. "Change him back, Poopypants!" George demands.

"Oh, I couldn't do zhat," Poopypants starts, "How else would I get him to do my every bidding?"

"You're...you're going to use Harold as a slave? You're insane!" George tries to enliven Harold by enunciating their favorite jokes, but to no avail. Harold was evidently just mentally absent.

"It's no use, George!" Poopypants laughs. "Your little friend's ability to understand your childish humor, or any humor at all, is out-of-commission. Zhis invention, even zhough it doesn't have enough power to affect more than one target," he admits, "it's strength is unparalleled. I made sure zhat my hahaguffawchuckleamulus-disabler would be ze perfect asset in case my plan failed!"

The professor beckons to the lifeless, fair-haired child, and Harold joins Poopypants' side without hesitation. George wants to stop them, but knows he doesn't exactly have the means to do so, and the professor, along with his best friend, escape off to some obscure location. After a few moments of George standing in disbelief, Captain Underpants tumbles out of the toilet bowl.

"Hey, sidekick, I can fly!" The captain exclaims joyfully, unaware of the events that just transpired. George doesn't acknowledge this, and angrily storms into the school. "Was it something I said?" Underpants calls after him, hovering toward the school's direction in pursuit of the distraught child.