Does This Feel Like Friendship?

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Y/N P.O.V

"This separation, time and space between us
For some revelation
You didn't even care to discuss
I'd rather be black and blue
Than accept that you withdrew

Aah, just tell me
Say anything

Anything hurts less than the quiet
Just tell me
Say anything
Anything hurts less than the quiet"

The beautiful voice of the one and only Troye Sivan floated throughout my apartment. I stood in my sweats, moving my body slightly to the music as I carried out a couple of tasks. I mumbled the lyrics as a small smile graced my lips. My eyes fluttered close and I could practically feel the music as it took up my consciousness. 

Slowly, I walked towards my bedroom. My fingers dragged over the walls as I sauntered through the flat. Eventually, I plopped onto my bed. The gray duvet was cool against my warm skin. As I lay on my bed, I allowed thoughts to invade my mind. 

That beautiful boy hung behind my eyelids. Big blue eyes were prominent in my mind. They were two windows to a truly beautiful soul. I had seen them pooled with tears, glassed over as he sobbed. I had seen them confused, searching the room as he internally searched his mind. I had seen them on fire as anger pulsed through his veins. I had seen them the color of ice as sunlight passed through them in the evening light. I had seen them attached to another woman, his eyes filled with lust...

Beyond those mischievous orbs were insane features that I could stare at for hours. Soft lips carried laughter and words that I would always remember. A jaw line that could cut my heart into pieces...

His arms would wrap around me in times of tears and in times of giggles. They would keep me warm and hold me. They would always provide a sense of home and love. 

Platonic love. 

Yes, I'm deeply in love with a Brit that thinks of me as a sister. Well...maybe not a sister. A couple of drunken kisses could prove that thought wrong....

A blush rose to my cheeks as those memories flooded my mind. Ugh, his lips on mine....That sensation could almost fool me into thinking that he liked me back. But, the wonderful mornings after would provide cold hard reality and lovely hangovers. 

Over the last five years, I had gotten to get to know a beautiful human called Joe. Apparently, our mothers had been friends for a while, and they had finally decided that Joe and I should meet. We immediately hit it off. For months, we had gotten together for coffee every couple days, possibly met at each others houses. 

Then, one day, I had realized that I was sickly in love with the lad. 

~~~FLASHBACK~~~

My legs pumped as I jogged over to Tracey's, Joe's mums home. The cold air bit at my wind blown face. The tips of my cheeks and nose were numb from the cold. I wrapped my coat around my torso a bit tighter, trying to escape the chilly air. Clouds of breath gathered in front of my face as I walked. 

Finally, I reached the big, blue door. Bringing my pale fist up to the wood, my eyes fell into the direction of the window.

A gorgeous red-headed girl sat in the lap of my gorgeous boy. Her pale arms were wrapped around his neck. She wore a small, black sundress, which at the moment was draped over Joe's lap.

Her lips were pressed to his. 

I watched as his hands leisurely climbed her body, finally settling on the back of her neck. Their lips moved sloppily against each others. 

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