Letting Him Go [slow updates] (unedited)

Chapter 5

Jessica

I fell asleep early last night, probably at 6 or 7pm. I needed to wake up early, I couldn't face him. I knew that if I did, I would never be able to leave. I knew that I wouldn't have the courage or strength to leave the man that I loved.

There was nothing that I wanted more than to stay by Ryder's side forever and to love him with everything that my heart could muster, but my pride was also too strong. I couldn't just sit here on the side lines while my husband and his lover laugh and enjoy themselves while I am miserable watching them. Envying her because I should've been in her place right now because I am his wife.

I woke up at 3am, all my bags were packed and hidden in the closet near the front door. I knew Ryder wouldn't touch that closet because when he comes home at whatever time that he chooses, he'll throw it on the small arm chair near the closet, expecting my to hang it up every time.

I walked into the shower and stood there as the warm water pounded onto my body. Was I making the right choice? Could I really leave the man I love? Of course you can Jessica. He hurt you. You need to leave. He'll never love you. The little voice in my head told me.

After 10 more minutes of arguing with myself on whether or not I should leave, I stepped out of the shower into the steamy bathroom and wrapped my soft cotton robe around my body.

I walked into my bedroom and grabbed some black laced undergarments, black leggings, and a sweater. I walked back into the restroom and got dressed. I blow-dried my hair and put it in a messy bun. I walked back into my room and put on some socks and my black Nike Free-runs.

I zipped up carry-on bag that had my MacBook, my chargers for my phone and laptop, as well as a book that I grabbed out of the study. In my Longchamp le Pliage I had my iPhone5s Silver, my make-up bag along with my face moisturizers, snacks for the plane, and my wallet.

I put both my purse and my carry-on bag onto my shoulder and walked towards the door. As I was about to close the door, I looked back into the room one last time. I silently shut the door after a few minutes and walked towards the grand stairway.

Before I walked down the stairs I grabbed the envelope that I had in my purse, as well as the manilla envelope. Inside the small white envelope, it contained a letter that I wrote two nights ago to Ryder and my wedding ring. Inside the big yellow Manilla envelope there contained divorce papers that I picked up from my lawyer yesterday morning while Ryder was at work.

I slipped both envelopes on the table near the stairs where I knew Ryder would see.

I walked down the stairs, to the front door and room out my luggages from the closet.

There was a honk out in front and I knew that the cab was here to take me to the airport. I opened the door and handed the cab driver my luggages, who them put them into the back of the cab.

Before I shut the door, I looked back once more into the place that I called home for the past few years. Tears formed into my eyes as I remembered both the good and bad memories, mostly bad, that I have here. I quietly shut the door and climbed into the taxi.

I held myself back from turning around to watch as we made our way towards the gates at the front because I knew that if I did, I would change my mind.

I balled up my fist and closed my eyes tightly as I silently cried as we made our way to the airport.

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Hello lovelies!

Sorry it's been awhile. Anyways, I hope you guys liked this chapter. I'll try to upload quicker since I'm on break.

Have a good day, or night, or evening!