Life Cycle

What is life?

This is a question I ask regularly. Why are we here, what is our purpose? Is there even a point to this burdenless life we live? So many questions yet still no answers. Why?

Jan. 16 2018, 10:00am
Me and my so called family have just arrived at a place we often go to when we do have money. The Mount Pleasant casino. Usually we don't go this early but this time we have a reservation for one of the suites. My grandma and grandpa are members allowing them to earn free reservations to stay after so many visits. After so many times coming here, they offered it to us knowing my dad wouldn't turn down the offer so he said yes. We walk up to the main desk to sign in. After waiting we finally are taken to our rooms, unfortunately we had to order an extra suite becuase there couldn't possibly be enough room for all of us to fit in one. I go to the suite with the largest window, choosing the bed closest. As I set my stuff down, I peer out the window, gazing at the ground below. 5 stories huh? I think to myself. Not long after getting settled in my parents walk in. They say they are going to put Caitlyn, my sister, and Joseph, my brother, in the play area while they play in the casino. They ask what I will be doing while they're gone. I shrug, as I gesture towards the tv and say that I'll probably just relax. My dad snickers mumbling under his breathe, "that's all you ever do." I cross my arms and glare at them as they leave. Once the door is completely shut, I plop onto the soft bed and scream into a pillow, as I always do. I roll back onto my back and think of what I should do today. I decide to put on my yoga pants and slippers and go down to get some ice cream. (Even if it was breakfast time.) I could feel the awkward stares I got from others becuase of my clothing. I gawked at the sign with the many different flavors, I decided to get cookie dough ice cream. It was one of my favorites. I payed for the ice cream and sat down in one of the booths pulling out my phone. I clicked on messenger deciding to text the group chat consisting of me, Morgan, and Victoria. I decided to text a simple good morning. I untangled my head phones as I waited for a reply. Plugging in my headphones I open my "happy?" playlist and click one of my favorite songs, "Unlike Pluto-Let it Bleed." I sit my phone down and take a bite of my ice cream, skimming my surroundings, watching people walk by. I finish my ice cream and I decide to go back up to the suite. Soon realizing I left the key card in the café area, I rush down to luckily find it still tucked away in the seat. I go back to the elevator, going back to the suite once more. I arrive opening the door and going into the kitchen opening the fridge. To my astonishment I find a large bottle of wine. I decide to take it out and find a wine glass to pour me some. I then walk over to the large bath tub in the corner of the room finding bubble bath soap. Pouring me a glass of wine and starting the tub, I dump over twice as much more bubble bath soap into the tub and watch it immediately bubble up. I take off my clothes and go to the tub turning off the water and going in. I sink deep into the bubbly water trying to escape. I sit there and think about my plans I have for later. I reach over grabbing the glass of wine taking a slow drink feeling it tingle down my throat. I think to myself how fun it would be if I jumped out the window right now but I know I want to celebrate and cherish my last day. I've been planning for this day for months now, it has to go according to plan. In which I know dosent sound very fun but in order for it to work this time I'll have to. I finish taking my bath and grab the towel drying myself off putting back on my clothes and turning on the tv. I decide to watch one of my new favorites, "Dexter." I text my friends the usual what's up and so on. I go on with my day as any other day. Then comes lunch time, I decide to look in the fridge once more. Nothing amused me to much, so I decided to go back down to the sub area. I get in line, hair still soaked and slightly drunk, I place my order for a normal blt sub. (Also one of my favorites.) I pay for it and sit inside one of the high raised chair areas and begin to eat my sub, savoring each and every bite. I listen to the familiar sounds of people playing the casino games, some winning and some losing. I watch people walk in and out of this small area, their faces either filled with anger or excitement. I think of what their life might be like, wondering what they go through everyday in our pointless lives. I finish my sandwich and decide to go for a walk down to the gift shop. I walk in gaping at all the interesting stuff. The lady walks over and asks, "can I help with anything young lady?" I turn to her and say, "no, not at the moment, thank you though." She walks away glaring at me watching my every move. I leave not saying a word, going back up to the suite. If I wanna do this right I have to get things ready I think to myself going in. I take my favorite outfit out of my suitcase and lay it on the bed. I stand there staring at it, thinking wether I should wear it or not. I walk into the bathroom, I put on my makeup and brush my once tangled hair and watch tv.

3:00pm

I begin to gather my things and get ready for my death, but before I could put on my outfit there is a knock at my door. I peek out to see it is just my dad. I open the door, he asks if I've been behaving and what I've been doing. I simply say, "yeah I've been pretty much relaxing here I did check out the gift shop, but that's about it."
"Well we will be back in about another hour or so, so behave."
He then leaves and I walk back over to my bed and continue my work. I change into my joker t-shirt, ripped jeans, and my newly favorite black jacket. I text my friends asking how their day was and saying that I hope it was great. Afterwards I go over to the window unlatching it and opening it feeling the cold breeze rush in. I look gown at the white ground below once again watching everyone coming and going. I walk back over to the bed grabbing my phone and begin talking with my friends.

Victoria: good
Me: wbu Morgan
Morgan: meh
Me: same
Me: I'm bored
Victoria: same
Me: blehhhh
Victoria: bleh
Me: I just want to tell you guys I'm sorry
Victoria: why?
Morgan: why
Me: I'm just sorry...
Victoria: we forgive you
Morgan: yup
Me: okay
....
Me: I love you Morgan
Me: I love you Victoria
Victoria: love you too
Morgan: 😘
Me: hope you two have a great day. I love you both lots. Goodbye.
Victoria: bye. ✌
Morgan: where are you going?
Me: I'll talk to you guys later bye.
Morgan: K
Victoria: Kk

And that was the last time I spoke to them. I was surprised by the fact I wasn't questioned or found out about. About half a hour passes. I am almost done getting ready, now I just need a note.

Dear whom ever reading,

          Once you have found this note, you will see the window open. If you look down you will see my body laying on the cold white ground that is now red with my blood. There was no way for me to go on. I am sick of this torturing life I live.

                   So I guess this is goodbye,

                                        Tristin Townley

6:00pm

I place the note on the ground in front of the window sill. So this is it. This useless life is finally over. I think standing in the window frame. I look down. I think about how miserable my life was. I think about all those years of hatred, being used, and being abused......Then I jump. I had a huge smile on my face as I fell. It was the best feeling in the world. Finally being free, being able to be released of this all. But at the last second....images of the best times in my life, my friends, and the people I cherish most pop into my head....and then I hit the ground and everything goes black.