I Think I Love You (Lashton Fanfic)

Chapter 13

I just want to know what I did wrong.

The bell rings and I run out of class into the bathroom. I mess up my hair and run my fingers through it. I lean on the sink looking in the mirror and that's when I cracked. I started crying silently to myself while locking the stall door. Sliding against the wall I was starting to wish I had my blade. But no, I can't give in. I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding. Though I crave that feeling of metal sliding across my wrist as it bleeds.

I wipe my eyes and stand up. I can do this, I'm fine. I can't be such a wimp all the time. I'll just confront him. But it doesn't seem all that easy, I know Ashton's attitude. Walking into the already empty hall I look around to see if Calum or Ashton's here. I turn the corner and raise and eyebrow at who I see coming towards me.

"Hey Mi-"

"Who do you think you are?!" He pushed my chest and I stumbled back. OKAY WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYBODY MAD AT ME.

"What are you talking about?! Michael calm down I'm having a shitty day and I don't need you to be mad at me too." I yell back at him.

"Sucks but I finally find someone I can deal with and you call her a slut? What the fuck Luke!" He screamed in my face.

"I don't even know who your girlfriend is!" I say but then stop and see who's standing behind him.

"Yes you did Luke, don't deny it!" Skylar faked cried, obviously.

"See what you did, ya bastard." Michael spit at me and hugger her.

"Oh come on?! You're really gonna believe her bullshit? I met her today and she was already trying to get some of this!" I pointed to myself.

"Luke, don't flatter yourself. She would never do that. If anything you probably forced yourself onto her." He gave me a disgusting look. Why is everyone doing that today.

"Michael. Are you stupid? Or are you fucking stupid?! I'm taken. Well at least I think... And hope." I feel tears prick in my eyes. I can't stand fights. I can't stand them.

"W-What do you mean?"

"Ashton and I... He's not talking to me and neither is Calum and I don't need you to be fucking pissed at me, okay!" I wipe a tear from my cheek and clench my fists.

"Luke... I'm sorry. I didn't know any of that happened. And I'm happy for you and Ashton by the way." He looked down.

"Uh, thanks but-"

"Don't give into him easily Mikey. He tried to rape me. He's a disgusting faggot! Please get away from him." Skylar begged him.

At first his eyes were soft trying to process what she said but as soon as he realized what she said he punched me. He actually punched me. After everything that's ever happened between us, he had never ever hurt me. But he hurt me... Cuz of a girl.

"I'm sorry Luke, today's not your day. Don't you dare fucking touch her or I'll have to do something about you." He shook his head at me.

"So you let her call me a faggot and accuse me of something that isn't true?" I say, pain in my voice.

"Why would she lie to me?" He asked dumbly.

"Mhm... I don't know. Maybe because sHE HATES ME?!" I yell at him. He's so fucking stupid I swear to god.

"Forget you Luke. You're an ass." He threw my backpack that was on the floor at my face. And of course... My textbook hit the corner of my eye. Lovely isn't it.

"Me, an ass? Oh, look who's talking idiot! And you never answered my first question." I cross my arms.

"Oh what? Why'd I let her call you a faggot? Maybe cuz you are one." He said before walking off, his voice full of hatred.

I stood there for a minute or so in the empty hall letting it all sink in. My boyfriend is ignoring me. My best friend seems like he hates me. And my other best friend thinks I'm a faggot.

I walked home not bothering to listen to music. Text anyone. Or even acknowledge the cross walk signal. I'll admit I almost got hit by a car, but I don't care. I want to die right now. And all I'm think about right now is getting home and finding my only best friend that will always be there for me. My blade.

Walking inside my house it's completely quiet. Nobody's home and it's just my luck. I walk to the bathroom, slide down the wall and look up at the ceiling before pressing the blade to my skin. I can't feel the blood running down my arm. Do I care? No. Right now I can forget all of my troubles and everything seems okay for once. School is hell enough and with all that happened today just sent me over the edge. I cut at least 12 times before making a 13th mark and putting everything away. Every single cut I was thinking about Ashton. I told him I wouldn't do it if he didn't. And I broke that promise. I wonder if he broke his?

I should just die. Heck, hell seems better than living up here. I've considered it, suicide. I want to. There are so many different ways to. A rope, a gun, a bridge, some pills, bleeding to death, and many more. A rope seems nice but too painful. A gun is great. Kills you instantly. A bridge you can jump and hopefully never wake up. You can bleed to death by cutting too much or hitting a vein. But the best way, are pills. Take enough and boom, you're dead. You just faint right then and there. No mess. But in that moment everything slows down. You realize that you're gonna die. You're gonna be that kid who killed themselves. You'll scream for help but no one can hear you because you're slipping away too fast. Then the next thing you know everything turns black as soon as you realize you don't want to die. And that's the only thing stopping me at this point. I know that if I try and succeed, I'll regret it. I'm meant to be on this planet and do something and I just have to keep that in mind if I want to stay alive.

~~~~~

Okay... Well. That was deep and emotional. I'll leave you with that(;

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~Sydney x