Critical (Jamilton)

27. Superdad on Easy St.

"Just see if you can make her feel at least slightly better? You relate to her the most there," the Schuyler explained. 

Hamilton nodded and went into the living room, calling Theodosia to follow him. They went up the stairs, sitting in Pip's room while the boys played downstairs. The farther away from them they got, the more her feet dragged. 

"So," Alex started softly. "Your mama?"

"Yeah, she had to go," Theo said quietly. "Daddy says she's not hurtin' anymore, and that she's happy now. . ."

"But?"

Suddenly, the little girl burst into tears. "But I didn't wan'er to go! She's supposed ta be here with me and do my hair and sing me songs! And now I don't got anyone to hug on Mama's day!" 

"Hey, come on," Hamilton tried, moving to kneel in front of her. "I know that you wanted your Mama to stay here with you but sometimes people gotta go." 

"But why did she have to? She shoulda wanted to stay and she shoulda wanted to be with me."

"I'm sure your mama wanted to stay with you very much." 

"Then why'd she go?"

"She just had to, that's not your fault, okay? You're  strong, remember? Like a superhero."

"Like a superhero," Theodosia agreed uncertainly.  

Suddenly, Alexander got an idea. He stood up and told Theo to follow him downstairs. They left the room and rejoined the two little boys as they played beat-Thomas-with-foam-bats. Jefferson was pretty relieved to see Alex coming back in with Theo. Before he could sic the boys on his boyfriend, Alex told the kids to sit down so he could tell them a story to help Theodosia feel better. Wanting to do anything to help their friend, the boys did what they were told. Thomas went into the kitchen, leaving Ham to do his thing. 

Once everyone was sitting down, Alex started on a story about a soldier working through the war. The very same one that he would hear as a child whenever something went wrong. The only differences were that he added in his mom and Peter as obstacles and he looked at the little girl when the soldier's mother passed. She looked excitedly to be similar to a hero.

The story turned into a bedtime story, though, and the playdate turned into a sleepover, which all the parents were okay with. The grownups each grabbed a kid and moved them all to Philip's room since Alex and Thomas decided to spend the night as well. 

While Jefferson talked to Eliza before she went to her room for the night, Alex stood outside on the porch, looking into the trees behind the house like he was waiting for someone to come out. He didn't know exactly who he was waiting for. Maybe Laurens maybe King, or maybe Adams since that's who had to thank for letting him escape. Really, it was his stupidity that Hamilton could thank. 

Adams had a 'game' that he would play whenever King wasn't around. He would let Alex out into the surrounding woods to run, but it wasn't without a catch. Adams would turn Hamilton's running into his own personal sport where he'd chase the running man down. A few time, Ham would get so close to being free that he wouldn't get another chance for months. But Adams always let him out again until finally, he escaped. 

He escaped without a plan, though, so for a little while he was homeless and lost. Some nice hair stylists helped him out, though. They let him stay in the apartment on the floor above the shop until he found Thomas. Alexander thought it was risky, but he wasn't going to turn it down. . . Not when he was finally out. 

He really needed to find them again for a thank you. 

His mind wandered from the woods to the story that he told the kids. The story that his mom would tell him. That sparked an old nostalgia that he hadn't felt in a while. The feelings went way back to Nevis, to the first time he remembered her telling it. He didn't necessarily want that back, though, he just wanted to her saying it because every time she did, she'd say that she was proud of what he'd done. 

"You wouldn't be very proud now," he muttered to himself. 

"Who wouldn't?" 

Alex jumped as Thomas wrapped his arms around him from behind. 

Ham didn't really see a point in lying so he said, "My mom." 

"I think she'd be proud of you," Jefferson hummed, resting his chin on Alexander's shoulder. 

"I don't think she would. I'm not doing anything worth being proud of."

"Mm, yes you are," Thomas replied. "You're alive, that's something. And you can handle yourself in most situations. You aren't letting the things that've happened to you consume you. . ." He trailed off like there was more to name but there was just so many. 

"Staying alive is only impressive to you considering what's happened and I can barely handle myself."

"Darlin' staying alive, in general, is hard. Honestly, anyone still alive right now deserves some credit. And so what if you need help sometimes, that's fine, people deserve the help they need."

"But--"

"No."

"Thomas--"

"Nope."

"If you would just--"

"Stop." Thomas lifted his head and kissed Alex's cheek. "You aren't arguing this one. She'd be proud of you and that's that. Now come on, I'm tired."

Alexander sighed and went back inside with Jefferson. They set up a blanket bed on the floor and got comfortable with each other, reminding Hamilton even more of when he first got back. 

"Hey, Tommy?" he said, closing his eyes. 

"Hm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too," Thomas yawned. "Now shut up so we can get some sleep before the kids wake us up at the crack of dawn."

Alexander smiled to himself and fell asleep thinking about his mom, Laurens, and Peter and whether or not they'd be proud of what he'd accomplished since they left. 

He decided that they would.