Met a Boy at Seventeen (Kellic)

Chapter 26

Chapter 26 - Kellin - The Mess That I’ve Become

“Kellin!” Justin calls. “Where are you going?”

It’s after school, and I’m standing by the front door of the apartment. “Out.”

"Out where?"

"I don’t know yet. Somewhere."

He just looks at me. “Kellin.”

"What? I’ll be fine, Justin." With that, I walk out the door, not bothering to wait for his response.

It’s getting darker, the sun turning everything a bright orange color before it disappears. The air isn’t too cold, but it’s cool enough to make me wish for my jacket. As I walk through the city, these are the things I try to notice until I’m no longer sober, so the pain doesn’t try to creep back up on me.

Bobby, the bouncer outside the club, raises his eyebrows when he sees me. “Again?”

I give him my ID, though he’s looked at it a hundred times before. “Yep. Got a problem with that, Bobby?”

"I do, actually," he says, barely glancing at it before handing it back to me. "I don’t know much about you, Kellin, but from what Tracy’s told me, I can guess there’s something up."

I snort. “Since when do dealers, bouncers, and bartenders even give a shit about druggies like me?”

He shrugs. “Good point. Just try not to die.” Then he flashes me a little smile. “Not here, at least. It’d be bad for our reputation.”

I return the smile. “No promises.”

Tracy isn’t working tonight. Instead, it’s Brian, who, upon seeing me sit down on a barstool, says, “Kellin, I really don’t think being here is a good idea.”

"Why not?"

He just gives me a look. “Because the last time I saw you, you were way too close to dying.”

I shrug. “It won’t get that bad tonight.” Before he can object, I pull a white pill out of my pocket and pop it into my mouth.

"Kellin—" Brian starts, but a person calling his name cuts him off. "I have to go," he says, and then he rushes away.

I’m only there for another fifteen minutes before I recognize someone standing at the side of the club, his back against the wall. It’s Jesse, and the mere sight of him immediately reminds me of everything that has happened—of why I’m even here in the first place.

I’m here to drown my sorrows. I’m here because of Vic.

The thought of his name is what makes me stand up and walk over to Jesse. He notices me coming and straightens up, probably preparing for a fight, but that’s not what I’m going over there for. I’ve snapped in a different sort of way.

I grab his arm and yank him into the bathroom, and as soon as the door slams closed behind us, I push him against the wall.

I blame the drugs for what happens next.

"I’ve missed you," I say. It’s a lie, but I say it anyways.

And then I kiss him.

I almost want him to push me away, but he doesn’t. Instead, after a pause of surprise, his hands find my hips, and he kisses me back, harder. Before I can even consider pulling away, he picks me up like I’m nothing and flips us around so that now I’m the one against the wall.

Then I think some sense slips into him, because he slows down noticeably, beginning to hesitate. Reality starts to claw its way back into my mind, calling out, Hey, remember Vic? The boy you love? The boy who broke your heart? Ha!