Broken Strings

C H A P T E R T W E N T Y - S E V E N

The way things had ended between them. That's what she regretted, more than anything.

"I wish I had given you a second chance. There were so many times, so many chances. I wish I had taken them." Anisha bit her lip, smiling, trying to keep her lips from quavering.

"Sebastian, we, me and you, just didn't work out. None of it was your fault. And it's not my fault. But I really am sorry for leading you on, especially after I was married."

"What we had, it meant the world to me. The way you made me feel, when I was eighteen, so young, naïve, and so fucking foolish. But it meant the world to me. It really did." She let go of his hand, of the past they'd shared. Once and for all. "I loved you, Sebastian Knight. I really did."

"But you need to let me go."

"You need to let me go." She looked back at him. His dark black hair, bright eyes, sharp jaw. She'd loved him, a long time ago. And he deserved better.

"You've always been there. You've seen me at my worst, and my best. And you loved me either way. I wish I'd realized that sooner. Maybe then things would've turned out different. But still, I'm thankful, Sebastian, for having someone like you in my life."

Anisha let out a small sniffle, trying to hold down her cries. She'd fallen apart enough, numerous times, especially in front of him.

"But you need to move on. You'll find better, someone much better than me. And she, she'll love you better than I ever could. But just don't forget me?" She nodded, her eyes glistening with tears. "Yea? Just remember I existed? That some girl named Anisha loved you, a long time ago."

She let a shaky breath as she took in every bit of him, for the last time.

"You're kidding Anisha. How the fuck will I ever forget you? It's been twenty years and I haven't even found anything close to what we had." Sebastian ran a hand over his face, his eyes swollen and his heart heavy.

He tugged on his lower lip with his hand. A few seconds of silence before he continued again.

"You're not the kind of girl people forget easily. I know I won't. I sure as hell won't ever forget you. How could I forget the only girl I ever loved with all my heart?"

He gave her a small smile, his chest felt tight with pain. He wanted to kiss the fuck out of her. And then cry on her shoulder.

Anisha was dulling, fading right before his very eyes. He couldn't help but wonder if this was the last time he'd get to hold her close, to love her so.

And he knew it was.

Sebastian sighed, almost unsure if he should tell her or not. Anisha had previously tried setting him with her friends and a few other random dates.

Not that it'd ever worked out. Nothing, nothing ever came close to what he'd had with Anisha.

Until Amanda. And that hadn't ended well for him either.

"I've been trying to move on. I...ugh...I have a date tonight. Melissa Wang? I don't know if you remember but she's a pediatrician. She works on the second floor."

Sebastian playfully glared at Anisha as she leaned over to punch his arm.

"Finally! She's liked you since forever. Took you long enough." She let out a soft laugh, trying to lighten the air around her.

"Ugh, yea. You know, she asks about you sometimes." He swiftly ran a hand through his hair, his eyes still focused on her. "Why'd you shut everyone out? People are work, your friends Anisha, everyone always asks about you. Once you left work, you just shut everyone out."

Anisha shrugged, standing up, slowly. She could feel blood rushing down. She always felt light-headed, just a little queasy and always tired. And never enough.

"Melissa still texts me sometimes. Karrissa, Sophia and Mark. Ming still emails me sometimes, asking if I want her to put in a good word for me at Kaiser. I think her husband is the CEO of the one on Sunset Boulevard. I'm guessing you haven't told them the truth about what's wrong with me?" She looked as Sebastian as he shook his head.

"I've always ignore all of their phone calls and texts and emails. I always let the phone calls go to voicemail. I always delete the texts without reading them."

Her eyes looked out to the ocean for the last time. She watched the waves slamming into each other, against the shore. She wished the pier around her goodbye. She wished the pier, the beach, the ferris wheel, the ice cream shop, everything that had ever given her happiness, she bid it a farewell.

"It made saying goodbye easier. That's all it was."

"Do you have any idea how hard this is for me? How hard it is for me to stand here, knowing that I might never see you again. Or how hard it is for me to go home, sit around my kids and pretend to be happy while knowing that soon they won't have me around? That any second could be it for me."

"It's hard because this might be it for me. This is it for me." Anisha let out a soft sob, the words barely escaping her lips. "And then I'll be gone."

"It was easier to shut everyone out, just so I wouldn't have to say any more goodbyes. I was selfish. So be it. I just wanted this to be easier for me. But it isn't." She clamped her lips together and shut her eyes, trying to stop herself from falling apart any further.

"This isn't easy. It isn't fair."

Anisha slowly opened her eyes as Sebastian took a small step towards her. She wiped her tears away, her cheeks still rosy and her eyes still glassy.

Anisha smiled at Sebastian, her face glowing with just a little sparkle.

"And this is goodbye. For us. I mean, I'll see you on Thursday for my next blood transfusion but I just needed to say goodbye. And that's all."

"So goodbye. And thanks for always being there, for loving me." She tried not to cry but a small tear drop streamed down her face as her voice cracked, her chest tightened in pain as she tried to choke down yet another cry.

"And maybe we'll meet again. Somewhere far, somewhere different from here. Maybe then, fate will be on our sides, and we'll work out. But for now, let me go."

Her voice was soft, a whisper, a goodbye. She looked at him, for the last time. A heavy sob was stuck her throat, her eyes were swelling with more tears.

"I loved you." Anisha shook her head, smiling one last time, biting down on her lip. She turned around, turned away from the first person who'd first taught her what love and heartbreak were.

"Goodbye Sebastian."

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This is the very first chapter that I actually felt sad writing. The last time I felt this sad was when I watched Finding Dory for the first time a few weeks ago ;)

Sebastian deserved better and I feel for him. I hate myself atm for writing this book. Time to go cry in the corner and eat a bunch of cookies while watching Frozen. Frozen is my favorite movie ever. Besides 27 dresses haha. I literally love Frozen so much. I'm way too old to be watching it but who cares :)

I couldn't decide the song or quote for this chapter so I went with Sorry. It was between Sorry by Halsey or One Last Time by Ariana Grande or But We Lost by Pink. Should I change it or leave it?

Plz vote and comment :) The next two chapters are going to be emotionally draining to write because they're the last Anisha and Andrew chapters.

Do you all have any ideas for the next two chapters? Cause I don't. I'd appreciate any feedback or suggestions. Like how should Andrew react when Anisha tells him she's sick and the truth about his sister. Like what should they be doing? I like to have most of their interactions at home because most couples fight at home and it felt realistic this way but idk, I'm open to anything