Broken Strings

C H A P T E R T W E N T Y - S E V E N

God, did she wish she'd fallen back in love with Sebastian.

Because Sebastian was, in every way, the better she'd deserved. And then, again, it was all her fault. It was her fault because she hadn't realized that before, she hadn't realized she deserved better because nothing had been more important than making things work with Andrew.

"After you left, I tried focusing on school. I slowly got over it, I mean, me and you, we just didn't last. And then, everything with Andrew, it just happened. I thought it was love." Anisha blew out a puff of air, hiding the tremble in her voice. "Maybe I don't know what love is."

"Hell, what do I even know about love?"

Anisha shook her head, vigorously. She was trying to convince herself otherwise.

"But I do know, I've always cared too much. I've always cared too much about everyone else. I've always tried too hard. I've always tried to be person everyone else expected me to be. I don't know."

Anishapressed her lips together, almost as if she didn't want to say anything anymore. She focused her eyes back on the ocean, following the waves that painted the sand.

"I just don't know what love is. But heartbreak? More than anything, I know what heartbreak is."

She smiled, faintly, taking in the happy world around her.

"After you left, I was all alone. I guess a part of me hated you. I hated you for leaving and I hated you for being the first person to break my heart. But I got over it. I really did."

"You came back two semesters later and we were friends again. I liked that. You've been the best friend that I always needed. You've always been there, for me."

"And then I got engaged to Andrew. I though it was love." She snorted, the awkward sound was heartbreaking.

All that was left was for her to talk about the past. It was the only time she'd been loved.

"Then Andrew fucked me over." Anisha looked at Sebastian, he was already looking at her.

"And then once again, I fucked you over."

His green eyes held a puzzle for her, bright and sharp. But they were weary. Almost as if he was blaming her for not giving them another chance.

"I played with your heart. I kissed you, I almost slept with you. And then I acted like it never happened." She tightened her hold on his hand, her bony fingers pressing onto his strong hand. "I played with your heart, Sebastian. I gave you hope and then I broke your heart, all over again."

Sebastian held her hand, wishing he could just go back in time. To fix his own mistakes.

"Anisha, just stop. Stop blaming yourself. None of this is your fucking fault. It's never been your fault. I just wanted to tell you that I still love you. I may never get the chance ever again and I needed to tell you while I could."

"You, Anisha, are the kind of girl everyone wants." His heart was aching. He could feel his heart shattering into pieces. "You're the kind of girl I want. And with every fucking thing I have, I wish I'd never let you go."

Anisha shook her head, pleading with him to stop making this harder for her. This is why she had almost gone back to bed this morning instead of coming out to the beach to meet him.

Goodbye, saying it was too far. Too fucking hard.

"Do you know what my biggest regret is?"

She had many regrets. Many mistakes and regrets that she'd accumulated throughout the years. But there was one thing that she regretted the most.