Broken Strings

C H A P T E R T W E N T Y - S E V E N

The kiss was short, short and sweet, his lips moving softly against hers. Sebastian slowly pulled away, his arms still wrapped around her and her arms around his neck. He rested his forehead against hers, her eyes still closed.

She could feel his hot breath, brushing against her lips. She slowly opened her eyes, taking her time and letting her blurry vision focus on him.

"I loved you too, Sebastian." Anisha gently placed her hand on his chest, right above his heart. "For what it's worth, for whatever it's worth, I really did love you. Even if it was a long time ago."

"I don't know if it changes anything but I did. I really did love you, a long time ago." Anisha shook her head, looking at her hand placed right above where his heart was beating. "Everything that happened, none of this is your fault. We didn't work out back then. And we wouldn't have worked out now."

"We're too different, Sebastian. We wanted different things in life. But I loved you, I really did."

Anisha gently pulled away, wanting to sit back down on the bench as a sharp pain pierced her stomach. She smiled as she looked out to the ocean. The sun was starting to shine, the mist slowly disappearing.

"You were the first guy I ever fell in love with." She bit her lip, suppressing a painful laugh as he sat down next to her. The corners of his lips slowly twitched upwards.

"Literally, the day my mom dropped me off at college, she warned me to stay away from boys like you. And boys like Andrew." Her smile slowly faded and she looked away. "Because boys just go around breaking hearts."

She sucked on her lips, welling herself not to cry. Anisha reached for his hand again, holding his hand in hers.

"But you're not that kind of guy Sebastian. You're the sweet kind, the kind of guy every girl dreams about. I just never saw that."

"Yea huh? Good guys always finish last, I guess." Sebastian leaned back, rubbing the back of his neck. Regret surrounded him. And so did heartbreak.

"And good girls end up broken, like me."

He looked back at Anisha, with pity as she continued staring, looking everywhere but at him.

"Stop Anisha, you've let your insecurities and fears ruin your life." He gave her hand a small squeeze, her wedding band pressing against him as he swallowed the bitterness.

She wasn't his.

"You care too much about what people think about you. And you're biggest problem is that you're always focused on other people. It's always what other people want, what makes everyone else happy. You are your last priority."

"After Nicole got sick, I treated you like shit. Yet, all the fucking time, you still tried to make things better between us. If I hadn't broken up with you, you'd still be trying to fix things between us." He smiled, pathetically, in pain. He wished he hadn't ended things with her. It was the only thing he wished for.

"I let you go because I didn't want to hurt you anymore than I already had. You deserved better. Even if better was someone else, someone that wasn't me." Sebastian shrugged. It had been done. He loved her, enough to let her go. Otherwise, he would've ruined her. "You still deserve better."

"But it isn't that easy." Her heart pricked, an inconsolable sadness filling her. "I've always tried to be good enough. I've spent my entire life trying to prove I was good enough. And all I've ever wanted is to show that I'm the kind of girl who can keep a guy. But I'm not, I'm really not."

"But I don't blame you. Of all people, Sebastian, I couldn't blame you. You did nothing wrong." Anisha shook her head, trying to push the regret and distress away. She wished she'd loved him instead.