Im so fucking confused

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Two weeks. Two fucking weeks since the accidental kiss. I can't let it go! I shouldn't be feeling this way, he's my best friend! I can't want to kiss him again; I can't like him. It'll ruin our friendship if I tell him this. I can't lose him; I may have only know him since the school year began but we've became so close since. I never had a really close high school friend, all my friends from middle school kinda ditched me but now I have Alex and I don't want to lose him. I need to get the fuck over this.

"Jack, dinners ready!" my mom shouted from downstairs. I got up and put on my pants because if I'm upstairs in my room alone, why keep my pants on?

I made my way downstairs and noticed that there were other people who I don't know there.

"Umm, mom who are these people" I whispered to her.

"They're our new neighbors, they have a daughter that's the same age as you who's going to your school." She winked at me. Fuck, why does she think it's okay to try and set me up with people? "This is Taylor, you're going to show her around school okay jack?"

I groaned so loud, I'm pretty sure the whole neighborhood heard. She slapped me. Oh, okay.

"Hi," she reached her hand out to me, Since I'm around my mom, I'll try to not be an asshole so I reached my hand out to hers and said hey. 'you can call me Tay, I'd prefer that."

I nodded and went to sit in between my mom and dad so I didn't have to sit near her. I'm the type of person that'd you call 'Antisocial' and I wasn't interested. She wasn't terrible, just not my type; my type being at this moment, my best friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner was everything but fun. It was awkward and oh my god she wouldn't stop staring at me. Also the situation right now is really awkward. Mom sent me up to my room with her and now we're both on my bed watching tv. She kept shifting closer to me and doing that thing with her hand where she puts in in between us as an invitation to hold it. Bitch no.

"Jack! it's time for Tay to leave!" oh thank Jesus fuck.

We both got and and walked out of my room staying on the banister for a while. She went into hug me and I did, I'm not that rude. Then she did something I wasn't so surprised she'd do, she kissed me but I pulled away immediately. She looked upset. Oh well.

"Don't you like me?" oh no. Now she's going to hate me.

"Umm, not really... sorry, I don't roll that way." I did not just say that out loud. Please tell me I didn't just say that!

The look on her face was a mixture of disgust, hurt, and anger.

"Are you fucking with me? you're a horrible person! you kept sending me these mixed signals!"

"First of all, I didn't send you any signals, even if I liked girls I wouldn't like you," if she believes that I'm gay then maybe she'll leave me alone. "You can go now."

"Whatever." She walked downstairs and I followed not to arouse any suspicion of hatred.

"Goodbye sweetie." mom shh.

They left out the door and I slammed it behind; I turned around and looked to see my mom and dad grinning.

"So, how was the kiss?" fuck.

"Can I talk to you guys?"

~~~~~~~~

"So what you're saying is you might like alex?"

"Yeah, maybe. I don't know mom I don't want to lose him!" I may or may not be crying right now. I'm fucking 18 and crying because I might have feelings for my best friend.

"Come here baby, it's fine." I walked over to my mom hugging her, at least my parents don't hate me now. "Just don't get hurt jack, he might not be feeling the same. I'm not going to sugar coat it and tell you he's feeling the same cause that might now be true. You know how many girlfriends Alex had and how he goes through them like gum, just be careful."

"Should I talk to him?"

"That would probably be best jack," thank you dad. Now I have to talk to him.

What the hell am I going to do?

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