Neighbors || Jearmin

Bittersweetness

"Thank you." Jean smiled in the crook of Armin's neck. "I couldn't have made it without you."

"I didn't do anything but talk to you. It's your achievement and yours only."

"Whatever you say, little fella." Armin giggled again and closed his eyes, breathing the fresh scent of Jean's hair, a mix of mint and apples. He felt the urge to run his fingers through it but hold it back not wanting to ruin that moment.

When Jean finally pulled away Armin hoped his face wasn't as hot as it felt. His eyes met a smiley face and sparkling eyes, pure happiness shaping into Jean's features. Armin wasn't sure what he should say or do, so he stood there waiting for Jean to do something, maybe start rambling about how nervous he was, how incredible it was. Anything that could distract Armin and let his insides rest.

What happened though was something that confused the younger at first. Jean's smile faded, his eyes dropped to the ground and he stepped back, running a hand though his hair to his nape and letting it rest there for some seconds. It made no sense, Jean should be happy and excited, dragging Armin out to celebrate the news, he should be talking nonsense and making it hard for Armin to follow his thoughts. Jean had no reason to be sad, worried, down, right?

"Hey, what's wrong?" Armin placed a hand on Jean's shoulder but the boy didn't turn around. "Jean, look at me." And he did. He was biting on his lower lip and avoided Armin's eyes.

"I just... I think I'll have to move back to Tokyo."

Words came out slowly, carefully pronounced like they were burning his throat on their way out. Jean didn't think about it before, his mind blocked out the idea probably protecting him from the need of choosing between his dream and his life. But now there was no way back which ironically meant there was no decision to make anymore, and Jean only then realized that maybe it was easier that way.

For Armin it wasn't a shock, though. He thought about it ever since they went to Tokyo and even if he wasn't too conscious of how possible it was, he had a feeling there was no other way. The ride to Tokyo was long and Jean didn't have a car, or money to buy it at least. And there was no way he could go and come back by train every day with the crazy schedules he would have. He knew it even if he didn't like thinking about it, but when the other said it out loud it somehow turned real. Too real.

But Armin simply nodded, not letting the little heart break to show on his face, and stood calm trying to guess what was going through Jean's mind. He knew the idea wasn't pleasant, specially since Tokyo remembered him too much of Marco and of what happens to them, to him. He also knew that the big city stressed Jean out and moving back would mean him suffering of much stress. But he guessed it was worth it since it meant Jean would finally do what he most desired to.

"Probably. You can also try and move out of the center, somewhere not so crowded. Maybe it won't be so stressing for you." Armin tried his best to sound understanding and chill, showing a smile that turned out to be more sad than he pretended.

"It's not that what worries m.e" Jean finally looked down at him locking eyes, Armin tilted his head like expecting him to keep talking but Jean didn't. He shook his head instead and let himself fall down on Armin's couch. "Never mind, I'll think about it when time comes".

For the next few seconds many emotions gathered in Jean's mind, mixing up into a sickening knock in his throat that didn't allow him to open his mouth and say everything he was feeling. What good would it do, anyways? What would change? Armin was already worried and seemed to be struggling with words as well, it would only make him worse and probably throw out the window the next few weeks they would have to just enjoy each other's company before splitting ways.