GEMSTONE HEART

01

"Tell me Megan, why are you so boy crazy?" My friend Shae asks me. Her dark brown eyebrows knit together as she puts my pens together by color.

Shae is my best friend. We knew each other since we were in diapers. My parents knew her parents while growing up so it was destined to happen. Shae is African American and Indian. She has the most beautiful brown skin and tight curly hair. I remember when we were twelve she came out to me and told me how she had feelings for a girl. It scared her but she also told me she liked a guy. She came out to her parents and told them she was bisexual. It took forever for Shae's parents to get over it. She grew up in a very religious household and it didn't make it any better that she was a atheist.

"I'm not boy crazy. I just like the male attention," I shrug my shoulders. I fold up my red t-shirt neatly and put it on a pile.

Shae looks at me with her dark brown eyes in slits like she is a snake. "That sounds like a girl that is boy crazy,"

I cross my tan arms and shake my head. "At least I'm not like Jesse. He sleeps with anyone boy that talks to him,"

Jesse is another one of my friends. Jesse is Asian and African American. He has a black hair and it's cut into a high top hair cut. You can't forget that he is gay. He never really needed to come out because everyone knew he is gay. The way he walked, talked, and the way he would look at boys. Jesse only came out to Shae and I after he slept with a random guy in his late twenties. We're only fifteen so it made Jesse feel powerful I guess. His mom didn't really care, they never had the talk. His dad died a long time ago from a car accident. Jesse is Catholic and he was surprised when Shae and I told him we weren't religious. He still stuck by our side because he knew religion doesn't define people.

Jesse a nice friend to have around. So is Shae. They're my go to.

"I can admit that I'm boy crazy sis. Have you seen Chris over the summer? I saw him working out at the gym. My Lord his muscles are bulging. I hope I can see something else to bulge," Jesse bites his tongue trying to look quirky.

"Let's not talk about penises okay?" I laugh at Jesse. My laugh sounds like cackles and it makes Shae laugh.

You might be wondering, who am I? Well I am Megan Lloyd and honestly, I am a confused hormonal teenager who doesn't understand what it means to be a teenager. Whenever love comes my way I fall over my shoe laces and bust my face right in front of someone. I like to say I'm straight but I've been feeling different things with people who are the same gender I am. I never came out to my parents because they're against gay people. I've been in the closet for three years now and I'll like to stay in here. I am Indian and Caucasian. My mom is white and my dad is a Americanized Indian. My hair is dark brown and I have freckles. My skin is a tan brown and my eyes are grey. I look wonky and out of place all the time. I was born feet first and I've been backwards ever since. Most people see me and think what kind of science experiment is that. I am 5'8 and I am a curvy girl. I like to eat, a lot. I enjoy reading and exercising. That's really all that I need to say about myself.

"I finished my side of the room!" Shae gets up from my lounge chair and walks over to me.

"I'm almost finished. Just sit down and relax for a minute," I pat the bed next to me.

"Thanks for helping cleaning my room. I needed the help," I smile at my friend's.

"Anything for my baby," Jesse squeezes my face.

I walk them to the front door of my house.

"I'm really trying to go before your parents get home, no offense," Shae pulls her purse over her shoulder.

"Yeah, I don't want them to make you late,"

"I love you Megan," Shae and Jesse say at the same time.

"I love y'all too," I wave to them as they start to walk home. They wave back and I close the door.

We all live in the same neighborhood so it makes it easier to hang out. None of us have a permit or a car. All our parents are lazy and never want to take us any where. So we usually just hangout at each other houses.

I sit on the couch and wait for my mom to come home. I'm ready to eat dinner and get this day over with. School starts back up in a few days and I'm ready to go back. The only reason why I'm ready to go back is because I'm tired of being stuck in the house.

I hear the door click open and I get up to go hug my mom.

"How was your day sweet heart?" My mom puts her dark brown hair on her shoulder.

"It was good. I cleaned up my room," I hug my mom.

"You can clean your room but you can't clean up around the house? I thought you were going to do something productive," my mom pulls out of the hug and goes into the kitchen.

I rub my arms and I sit down on the couch. This is the main reason why I feel like shit all the time. My parents always ruin my mood. I always try to do everything to make them happy but there is nothing to make them happy.

"I'll clean the house tomorrow," I quietly murmur.

"You better,"