1 / blue christmas

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IT HAD NEVER made any sense to Tala Flores that there were people in the world who hated Christmas. She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that anyone could hate the glittering lights or the decorated trees; she didn't understand how one could hate the festive music or the holiday films. The run-up to the season had always been her favourite time of year, stringing tinsel in the hall and hanging baubles from the tree.

Last year was her favourite. 2016, she was sure, had been her best Christmas so far. As much as she had adored her childhood, when the holidays had brought her whole family together and she and her brother had shared a room on Christmas Eve, last year had exceeded them all. Rather than heading to church with her parents and dropping in on her brother and his ever-growing clan, she had celebrated with her own little family for the first time.

The first of many. Or so she had hoped. When she had moved in with her boyfriend, she had pictured their future Christmases; she had revelled in making it as special as possible for his daughter; she had dreamt about becoming a stepmother to the little girl she adored. Lily was the most precious little thing, a student in her nursery class whose father Tala had fallen in love with, and the rest was supposed to be history.

Now it all was. 2017 was going to be the worst Christmas, one that she wasn't even sure she wanted to celebrate when it was destined to be spent in her depressing flat, a poky place just outside town that she couldn't bring herself to decorate. All that did was remind her that she wasn't decorating it with her fiancé: he was decorating his own home with his daughter, putting up the tree that Tala had wanted to pick out.

When November had struck, she had imagined taking Lily's hand as they found the perfect fir to string with lights. She had begun to plan out the entire week, from the magic of Christmas Eve to the chaos of the day that followed, but the run of her wild imagination had been cut down when the man she had loved for two years had called their relationship to an end. Amidst the devastation of being dumped by the man she had wanted to spend her life with, part of her had wished he had just waited until the new year.

Now single and far from loving it, Tala didn't know what to do with herself as she walked down Farnleigh high street with her hands stuffed deep into her pockets, her fingertips slowly freezing as flaky snow fell. It was supposed to be a white Christmas for the first time in a long time: she couldn't remember the last time snow had fallen on the twenty-fifth and any other year, she would have been over the moon, but it was hard to get excited now.

She reached the bus stop at the exact time that the number seven pulled away and with a scowl, she dropped onto one of the hard, sloping seats with her feet firmly planted on the ground. Town was too pretty, too many lights hanging from the shops that filled their windows with festive displays. Festive was far from the mood she was in, instead wishing she was anywhere else. Home wasn't an option, unless she was willing to wait thirty minutes until the next bus.

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