to all the boys I've loved

Him

     Because it was always about Him. Even when it wasn't. He had an infectious laugh, the type of laugh people imitate when it's just that good. It's almost a long-stretch to claim that I once loved Him, but I would like to imagine that I did. If you were to look Him up in a dictionary, he would be featured as a synonym for the words "manipulation" and "cunning." I had nothing to be insecure about until I met Him. Insecurity took root in my feet and prevented me from running away. 7 months of Him and never I. Let's make up for lost time. 

     I was beautiful and petite. Just perfect. 

     I looked better with long hair.

     No I looked better with short hair.

     I had an original style.

     But I'd look better if I wore riding boots.

     I couldn't go to parties.

     I couldn't have male friends.

     I could exercise more. 

     I was never unfaithful.

     I was always accused of being unfaithful.

     Now that I've touched on the bad, I would love to drown in the good. He was my first real kiss. That I-forgot-how-to-breathe kiss. While he stole so much of me, I gained popularity and a new kind of attention that has quite literally crafted me into the person I am today. Losing him made me find a voice I wasn't aware I had. I don't quite remember the girl I was before I met Him, but I know she was hurting and she hadn't truly known what heartache was. I reckon you could refer to this as my trial run.