Robbie Kay ➸ Imagines/Zodiacs

Dear Ex-Bestfriend/Boyfriend

(Y/N) - Your name ~ (L/N) - Last name

12th December 2017, 12:42AM

Dear Robbie,

It has been awhile since we last spoke in person. How have you been doing? Because a lot has happened ever since we parted our ways. I am writing this letter to get something off my chest. I know for a fact that my voice would break and tears would start streaming down my face if I were to ask you in person which is why I am writing a letter to you instead. 

My mother & I were running some errands today. As she drove by all the places we used to go together, I immediately became bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, getting flashbacks of those memorable times; from our first awkward date, to that one time we hung out at your house forever and ever until my parents got pissed off. I nearly texted you about it, n e a r l y... Because when I saw your contact name and noticed our deleted chats, I remembered that we were now just strangers who knew about each other too well. It hurts a little. Since I would tend to describe our friendship/relationship as a war; easy to start off, difficult to end and impossible to forget. But look where we are now... 'difficult to end' huh? Strange, since all we needed was an hour or two before getting separated so easily... 

My friends ask me if I still want you back, I say "yes". My friends ask me if I still miss you, I say "yes"; Because I miss you endlessly. There were instances I had the urge to pick up my phone to text you about my issues or unstable emotions because you would always be there to help me put myself back together then I realized, now you are the reason why I am falling apart . It sucks because for the longest time it seemed you were the guy who always gave me the feelings people write novels about. Your smile, your hugs, your face, your eyes, everything about you, is what I keep yearning for. Is there any way I can say "I miss you" in a way that will make your heart ache as much as mine does?

Side note though: I do not intend to victimize myself, knowing that we were both to blame for having a relationship that was not sensible or well balanced; both of us fu*ked up honestly. We had different preferences and characteristics; high-key v.s. low-key, open v.s. shy, overthink v.s. underthink. Therefore, I think there were certain times where we express ourselves in a way that both of us could not comprehend , leading to arguments here and there. And although it was not the most healthy experience we had, we at least shared some nice memories *wink wink*.

I am sorry that we had it on a bad note though. I am sorry for blaming you whenever nothing works out. I am sorry for indirectly spreading the news to everyone. I am sorry for sounding like the victim all the time. I'm sorry we couldn't do everything we wanted to. I am sorry for bottling my  emotions up and not letting you see the true me in the first place. But I do wonder, are you sorry for anything at all? What did you mean by "you can now flirt/talk to all the boys you want"? What were you thinking all this time? Then again, this is life, some things are beyond our control whether we like it or not.

However I am thankful for you, for teaching me to forgive you, forgive the situation, forgive myself and not being afraid to start a new again. Thank you for teaching me that I should never lie, never 'cheat', never ever keep promises that I am unable to keep and to never think 'there is still time' or 'maybe next time' when there can be a 'too late' too. Thank you for everything that you have done. Thank you for changing my life too.

I need you to know that I have always wanted the best for you, even up to now. I want us, both, to move on in life while being able to laugh back at the thought of it. I want you to find a girl who is able to love you as much as I do. I want you to live your live to the fullest, living like as if there is going to be no tomorrow. It is nice to know if we can go back to being close friends. Sadly, things would not be the same, the past can never be rewind right? The most both of us can do now is to go back being mutual friends while leaving a scar in each other's heart. Though, just realise that the scar is one that does not make my heart sink or flood my head with painful memories, it is a unique one that shows me how I made it this far today.

With all of that finally said, I hope you will have a blissful year ahead. I hope your family are doing well. I hope you continue being that same savage and funny guy. 

You will always hold a place in my heart. Love you always xx.

Love,

(Y/N)(L/N); Your ex-bestfriend/boyfriend

✧･ﾟ･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ A/N ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

hi humans ! hope you are having a nice day !

i know this imagine seems very unusual. It is actually. In fact, It is something personal that i went through recently. i just needed to throw my thoughts and feelings out there for some reasons. Of course, i felt a need to cover up some storyline because i have friends following this account. Thus, this consist 50% truth 50% 'imagination'. 

the song "talking to the moon" is a melodious song too! i recommend you to listen to it while reading this part! you can hear the emotions mixing around within it. also, it's bruno mars! what is there to not like about him right ;-) ?

appreciate it 'toats' if you can vote on this chapter too! thanks :D