You make the jokes better (a marauders story)

Chapter 14

“I’ve made some mistakes, big mistakes.”

“Oh honey it was only a mistake if you didn’t use protection.”

“I’m not pregnant and Sirius and I haven’t ever slept together.”

“So are you a virgin then? Let me tell you about my first time…”

“I don’t want to hear about your sex life with Apollo and just because it wasn’t with him doesn’t mean that I haven’t done it.” She sighs but I can detect a smile in her voice, I never understood how I can do that but I can because I’m awesome.

“So what mistakes have you made then?”

“Too many, I’ve allowed Peter Pettigrew to stalk and torture me all term…” Just as she finishes she covers her mouth, da fuck? “I can’t believe I was able to say that.” She mutters.

“Why wouldn’t you?”

“That I definitely cannot say.”

“Well that sucks.” I mutter before standing up. “So why you out here crying?”

“Sirius and I had a fight.” She says standing up as well.

“Sounds normal for you two.”

“Trust me it isn’t, or wasn’t, we never used to fight but this year it’s all we ever do.”

“Well why do you fight so much?”

“Because I’m ‘secretive’ and he doesn’t like Artemis too much.”

“How can you not like Arty?”

“Don’t call me that!” Artemis shouts from around the corner, that girl has super sensitive hearing I swear.

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Alexia’s POV (A/N haha I wrote POC three times aren’t I a failure.)

“I’m sorry.” Sirius says as he sits down at the Gryffindor table the next day.

“No you’re not.” I mutter dropping my spoon into my porridge.

“Damn girl hate to be a hater.” Artemis says putting her hands over her eyes.

“Hate to be a dork.” I say

“But you are already one… Awkies.” Artemis replys.

“Loser.”

“Wanker.”

“Homo.” I say.

“Hey, hey, hey I’m not in homopuff because my name isn’t Ursula Jane Peterson.” Artemis says making herself laugh, as I said DORK!

“HEY that’s offensive!” Ursula shouts and some other Hufflepuffs shout in agreement.

“Okay let’s have a fight Hufflepuffs, Quiditch pitch lunch time, no wands just muggle style duelling.” Artemis shouts standing on the seat, they all sit down rather quietly after that well except for Ursula who comes over to our table.

“You’re the homo.” Ursula mutters to Artemis, stealing some of my porridge, well actually the whole bowl.

“Well then you’ve been kicked out of my song.” Artemis says.

“What was it?” I ask.

“Well I’ll sing the old version, we’re the three best friends that anyone could have, we’re the three best friends that anyone could have, we’re the three best friends that anyone could have.”

“Okay you can shut up now.” Ursula says clamping her hand over Artemis’ mouth.

“Mummy, auntie called me fat!” Artemis says yanking Ursula’s hand away.

“Well maybe you should stop eating.” I tease pinching one of her cheeks.

“Okay not cool!” Artemis says swatting away my hand.

Naturally I slapped her hand back and then it was all out slapping war on the Gryffindor table. Hells yes, “I have to go bye.” Artemis says giving me one final slap on the arm.

“Bitch!” I mutter sending Ursula a grin as Artemis skips out of the hall.

Artemis’ POV (This will be really short)

I’m skipping away from Alexia for one reason my arms freaking hurt. But somehow I’ve ended up on the second floor… I don’t even remember going up any stairs so this is extremely weird. I feel someone yank my arm into a class room and one name comes to mind, Xeno! “Xeno what are you doing lurking in a class… RAT!” I say as soon as I turn around I notice that its that scumbag Peter.

“Not what you were expecting?” He says in that annoyingly oily voice, I swear its oilier than Snape’s hair, hehehehe I’m hilarious, oh right I’m meant to be angry.

“What do you want?” I hiss, like a snake, hiiisssssssssssss.

“Nothing more than the delight of messing with Alexia and making her realise she hasn’t been forgotten about.” How was this creep not put in Slytherin?

“Come at me bro!” I say with a sly smirk.

“Fine, crucio!” He says pointing his wand at me.

Alexia’s POV

“Woah shit someone screams louder than you do!” James says sitting at the table.

“Guys that’s Artemis’ scream.” Ursula says jumping up, fucking mother fucker twenty gallons on Rat face.

“What’s going on?” Xeno says looking at our distressed faces.

“Artemis is in trouble!” I say running out of the hall with Ursula on my tail not that I have one.

“Where would she be?” Ursula asks.

“On either the second or third floor, it’s too loud to be higher and too quiet to be lower.”

“Wow your good!”

We run to the second floor and the screams get louder and louder, I approach a door that is locked and I know that, it’s the one. “Peeves!” I shout.

“Ooh someone’s grumpy, want the door unlocked I’m guessing? Ugly sight, a lot of blood you don’t need to see her die.”

“Just use alohamora.” Ursula says.

“It’s locked by magic, Peeves do it and I’ll give you twenty dungbongs.”

“Make it thirty.”

“Twenty-five.”

“Thirty or this door won’t open and American girl with odd name dies.”

“Fine thirty, now open that bloody door.”

He goes through the door and it then swings open. He was right it isn’t a pretty sight in fact I can feel my breakfast coming up now.

Dun dun dun, and you guys probably thought that Peter had disapeered or well shut up but Noooooo he’s been bidding his time waiting for the chance to strike.

And since when did Peeves listen to students? I wonder what’s going on there.

Hugs and butterfly kisses

Someones_daughter