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but i get even thirstier than before is everything i know truly the sea? or is it a blue desert?
it's been a few hours since seokjin brought hoseok to his house, the younger was quiet and timid, he clung on to him like his life depended on it and he felt like he was silently apologizing how he was acting earlier. hoseok didn't like to be wrong sometimes because he felt belittled, but when he knew he was he'd continue to keep quiet, but do whatever he could to make it up to you.
seokjin didn't need it though, he was okay with hoseok being upset and it was understood that he may need time to recover. he'd manage, as long as he was okay.
seokjin looked up from his book, taking a peek at hoseok who lied his head on his lap, staring up at the ceiling with his soft parted lips and long fluttering eyelashes. he noticed the hoseok was beginning to shut his eyes, but forcing himself to stay awake, almost as if he was afraid, "you look tired," he spoke, watching as hoseok suddenly awoken to full attention.
he shook his head, "n-no," he stuttered, not sparing the elder a glance, "i'm fine."
"look at me, baby," seokjin whispered, closing his book and setting it to the side. hoseok didn't listen of course and the elder smiles softly at the stubborn male, "please?"
hoseok closed his eyes briefly before turning to him and seokjin felt like he was looking at an angel, his soft brown eyes looked up at him silently as his soft blond hair made beautiful waves over his head onto his golden skin. as there was silence he could hear the younger's breathing, his steady breaths with his pretty pink lips parted slightly, he could fall asleep alone to the calming sound as he's done it before, he could fall asleep knowing that his love was breathing steadily and peacefully like the calm waves of the ocean. hoseok was an ocean, hoseok was like a beach.
his body was a sunset shining over the sand and the calm waters, colors of pink, orange, and red bursting through the sky, but hoseok in the inside was like the ocean, emotions crashing inside of him like violent waves, you could dip yourself in and test it out, it will be cold, but it will warm up to you soon as you submerge yourself into the sea, welcoming it as you feel the tiny waves hit your skin. it was like a fight inside of him, a storm, but he knew hoseok well to know that he could make it.
"you need a nap," seokjin commented, running his fingers through the younger's hair, "you've got bags under your eyes."
"i-i'm afraid, hyung," hoseok said, "i cant."
"and why is that?"
hoseok shivered and shook his head, seokjin took the lack of response as enough. the brunette sighed and continued to brush his fingers through his hair before being stopped, "p-please," he whispered, "don't." he was confused at the sudden action until he realized that hoseok usually only fell asleep if his hair was played with.
"seokie," seokjin called out softly, "i can sleep with you if you want that, i just really want you to get some rest and i can make you something when you wake up."
hoseok sat up and took a deep breath before nodding at him, seokjin nodded in response and stood up, taking hold of hoseok's hand and standing him up as well, "still dizzy?" he asked and hoseok nodded, wobbling into seokjin's hold, "you're still cute, hoseok, you know that?" the said male looked away shyly, a soft blush coating his cheeks, "i love you so much, you mean the world to me."
hoseok then turned to seokjin, confused and a little in shock, "you said you love me?" he asked softly and seokjin nodded, "i wish i could say it back right now, i really do, i'm sorry. i-i cant think straight." seokjin nodded, kissing the younger's forehead, "i'm sorry, seokjin."
seokjin shook his head, "it's okay, seokie, it's okay. don't apologize." he assured, hoseok wrapped both arms around him, he began to cry again and seokjin held him tighter, the younger buried his face in the elder's neck and held onto him like his life depended on it, he felt like he disrespected the elder by his recent choices, by attempting to kill himself, refusing his help, and pushing him away when he knew he really needed him. he was always pushing seokjin away even while they were kidding, but he didn't want it that way anymore. he wanted seokjin as close as possible.
"c'mon," seokjin whispered, holding back his tears, "let's go upstairs and rest."
hoseok let the elder go and steadied himself before walking up the stairs, holding onto the rail along with seokjin following close behind him. seokjin made sure the boy made it up the stairs and into his room, he watched him take off his socks and jacket before hesitantly sitting on the bed, sighing.
seokjin sat on the other side of the bed before lying back and rolling to the middle, he was happy to be in his bed, but happier to be in it with hoseok. the blond crawled closer to him and buried his face into seokjin's chest, the latter smiled softly and combed his fingers through the younger's hair, hoping to get him to sleep.
"seokjin hyung," hoseok called out softly, seokjin hummed in response, hugging the younger closer, "don't leave me."
"i won't, ever."
a few hours later seokjin was the first to wake up as he hoped to be, he looked down at hoseok who snored softly against his shirt, his hair covering his eyes messily. he smiled and kissed his head before attempting to get up, he could hear a soft gasp and the grip on his shirt tightened, yet hoseok was still asleep. he carefully and gently grabbed his hands and took them off of his shirt. his kissed them and lied them back on the bed before taking off his jacket and putting it over the sleeping younger.
seokjin walked downstairs and took a deep breath, his eyes were full of tears that were waiting to be let out, he couldn't because he needed to be strong for hoseok, but it was so hard. goddamn it, it was so hard.
the brunette walked to the kitchen and he began to grab the items for hoseok's snack, in the midst of it all he paused; it was really happening, hoseok really just got released from the hospital from attempting suicide and he wasn't there. he wasn't there to stop him.
hoseok was now showing more vulnerable sides to him that seokjin rarely ever sees, he relied on him heavily to get him through this and seokjin is going to make sure that he doesn't let him down, he's going to make sure the sea inside of his love was exciting again, he was going to bring it alive.
