Battlefield ｡ Tony Stark

40 - EMPTY BEDS

Usually nightmares about things uncertain played in my mind in the early hours of the night when the world was quite outside and darkness promised the beginning of another day. Unfortunately, no dreams even touched my mind last night because the only thing I did was toss and turn in my empty bed. It felt weird, maybe saddening that I didn't even feel comfortable sleeping in my own bed without him. 

The blinking light of my alarm clock reminded me it was just pass seven o'clock in the morning and any moment that very familiar beeping would echo through my bedroom, but I didn't move from my spot. I thought we could make it work. I thought we could be some happy family, but I was wrong. We were fooling ourselves, Tilly. I never wanted some simple life with a kid. That was never me. Tony's words spoken at his birthday party last night were like a broken record, circling around in my head again and again. 

My palm flattened against my stomach, heavy tears swelling in my eyes. 

He was drunk. He was upset. He was angry. He didn't mean what he said, not deep down. I was trying my very best to make excuses for his actions last night. I was scraping my mind for some sort of explanation but everything came up blank. Tony Stark maybe never wanted to become a father but it was something he couldn't run from, no more than myself running from the reality that was heavy in my mind today. Somehow, I had found myself in the very same situation that had changed my life years ago. I was pregnant with Tony Stark's baby, again, and he was left in the dark about the truth and had resorted back to his previous ways, just with an extra shinny suit he wore like a badge of honour. Maybe that's all we ever could be; a rich boy so broken and a girl destined to create chaos. 

"Mum, are you gonna' turn off the alarm?" 

Samuel was standing in my bedroom threshold, rubbing at the sleep in his eyes. My head snapped towards the alarm which was beeping loudly, something I hadn't even heard or cared about. Sheepishly, my son shuffled towards my nightstand and switched if off for me when I made no attempt to move. He waited by my beside for a long moment and I couldn't read his face, having no idea what he was thinking. Slowly, I made room for him and without question, he climbed into the bed and pulled the blanket to his chin. We laid like that all morning, just forgetting about the troubles of our hearts. 

***

"Wait...let me get this straight. He was completely wasted and not only told you, you guys together as a family would never work, but also trashed his cliffside mansion?" Lucy Hammer had cocked her head to the side, her eyes slightly narrowed with her brief run through of the lengthly retelling of my night to her. 

My hands were wrapped around a hot cup of herbal tea, some weird flavour Lucy was testing out which I don't think she particularly enjoyed since her nose crinkled each time she took her own sip. "That's pretty much everything, yeah." I nodded, pursing my lips. "You must have seen the damage to his place on the news by now, it's like a war-zone."

Lucy couldn't help but agree. "Those Iron Man suits really are lethal." 

"Yeah, you honestly don't have to remind me."

A weird silence fell upon our table and our attention landed on Samuel who was sitting on the cream lounge with a Gameboy in his hands. He was deep in concentration that he barely paid us any attention. He wasn't even listening to Aaron's advice about passing the level as he perched over Samuel's shoulder. It was actually sweet seeing Aaron playing around with Samuel and by the look in my best friend's clear eyes, she was thinking the very same thing. Which only added fuel the flames of my aching heart about my own complicated relationship. 

"He's really good with kids," I noted quietly. 

Lucy's eyes lit up, "He really is, huh? We're thinking about it. You know, having a child. Aaron's also been thinking about accepting a new job offer in New Jersey." Quickly, I could spot the sorrow and guilt in her light voice. We had lived in Los Angeles our entire lives and generally, we had never been separated since becoming friends. Suddenly, it dawned on me that one day our friendship could span states, not streets. 

"New Jersey? As in the East Coast?" The words were blurted out before I could even process what my mouth was saying. There was a flash of something in my best friend's eyes and just as quickly my hand was snapping out and taking her own. "I think starting a family is really great and hey, you'd get snow there. That's always...I've never seen snow, but I'm sure it's lovely."

A weak smile touched Lucy's lips. "I didn't want to burden you with the very idea of moving away, not with everything that's been going on--"

"Don't be silly," I interrupted her. "You've never been a burden to me."

Lucy glanced over her shoulder, watching her husband for a little moment. Lucy Hammer had changed maybe more than myself since college and she deserved the happy family with a cute dog and a white fence. Maybe she deserved it more than me. "I've never lived anywhere but here, you know? I've never been that far from you and Samuel...but it could be a fresh start. I don't want to ask you to move across the country with me, but we're checking out the house next week since Aaron has a meeting with the new company. Do you want to come? Even if it's just to get away from everything for a day or two?"

Los Angeles was my home but maybe it wasn't a home without the people that I loved. Without thinking too hard about the consequences or about how Tony Stark might react to the notion of moving away, I sent her a smile. "I'll pack a bag and let work know."

"Woah, really? What about Tony?" Lucy's eyebrows shot up with my quick response.

I sipped at my tea, my face remaining blank from any emotion. "What about him? It's not like he's tried to call or apologised yet. He could be anywhere in the world right now, or with anybody and I wouldn't even know because he's doing his best to ruin everything between us. I can plan a weekend away, he doesn't own me. Mind you, he probably wouldn't really care."

Lucy frowned, "Okay, but what about the...baby?" 

My eyes snapped towards my son, but he wasn't remotely paying any attention still, too engrossed in his game. That fear that had been curling up my spine all day had returned but I pushed it away, knowing that everything I had invested in with Tony Stark, could very well fall apart anyway. "I raised one of his children alone, why not another?" That comment hurt my heart more than I expected but it was nothing but the cold hard truth.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

ew, that sucked but oh well. It was a really short filler chapter because I actually do need Tilly on the East Coast for what I have planned with Justin Hammer and right now, Tony's acting reckless and he's got all that drama with Nat and Fury, which is why he was absent and this chapter was solely focused on Tilly and Lucy.  Anyway, I'm going to try and wrap up this movie quickly and develop my own arc for Tilly which is gonna be a little heartbreaking, but yeah!! that's all today, peace out and please leave your thoughts. 

- tinkertaydust