Tantalizing Hopes

1. The Unsteady Hunt

"You mean to say you stayed awake the whole night with her?"

"Not entirely. Eshaal and I took turns. I would have caught four hours of sleep tops and it's the same story almost every other day. My lil' one could not differentiate between night and day and has so much energy that she hardly wants to waste it by sleeping."

"Woah man! You don't look like someone who has only four hours of sleep on an average."

Tanvir smiled, his face mellowing with a quick glance at the jewel he held. His three months old daughter was dressed in a yellow summer frock and cute red infant socks. Her hands were balled up, her eyes shut tightly as she smiled in her sleep. Her negligent brows were raised. She was probably dreaming of something nice, something beautiful, pleasant. He wished for her to stay that way. "Some days it gets too much with the workload at office and all but then, she is worth all that I'd have to face. Worth all the hours of sleep that I'd have to miss. Even when I'm having a terrible day one look at her eyes, one kiss on her cheeks, one smile on her face and all my tiredness melts away."

Ibrahim looked down at her fondly, prodding at her fist with his long fingers. "She is tiny but still manages to hold all our hearts in her little fist."

"True Masha'Allah."

They fell silent for a while neither speaking what was on their mind, both unaware of how to broach the topic.

"This cannot go on forever you know." Tanvir was the first to speak.

"What cannot go on forever?"

"Oh come on! Don't act as though you don't know what I'm talking about."

Ibrahim drew in a deep breath. "But did you see the way he was asking me questions? Did you at least hear the questions he had to ask? He had the audacity to--" Ibrahim left the sentence hanging for fear of losing his temper.

"Okay, I admit he was rude but that doesn't mean all the fathers out there who have daughters are going to be the same!"

"Most are!"

"But not all!"

"Every single one of those who I met were unreasonable. Every. Single. One."

"Ibrahim", Tanvir said calmly, "is their attitude the reason or is there something else?"

"Not you too!" Ibrahim buried his face in his hands and groaned seemingly tired of having that question directed at him time and again. His mother, then father, sister and now his brother-in-law.

"No, I'm not listening to what your parents or your sister have to say. I'm asking you as a friend, as a brother, as a well wisher, tell me what is on your mind. Maybe I can help you out with it."

Ibrahim looked away unable to meet his brother's eyes. He settled with the curtains instead, watching how they interweaved and parted in the breeze. Silence stretched. The ticking of the grandfather clock hung in the living room grew loud and distinct.

"Ibrahim", Tanvir pressed. "I agree the guy we met today had no filter in his mouth but that was not the same case with everyone else. Of course they had questions, questions which made you uncomfortable but what else do you expect from them? They were contemplating handing over their daughter to you and that's not a joke. Of course they would have wanted to know about you in and out.

"Take me for instance, my daughter is hardly three months old but I already fear the day she'd leave me for someone else. I fear the day I'd have to place her hand in someone else's. I fear her moving away, I fear the things she'd have to encounter alone while growing up. I fear for the hurt she might feel, the rejection she might have to face. I fear she won't be able to settle, I fear she'd not be happy. I fear he'd make her cry. I fear a hundred different things when it comes to her and it is the same with everyone else. No one wants to hand over their daughter to someone who cannot meet their standards. Forget about me, think about the way you threatened to break my bones if I ever harm Eshaal."