Heart of a Beast

Chapter 17 | Crystal

I'm so pathetic...

Tamarack uncrossed her arms. "Sure, Cris. Want me to organize a search party?"

Shaking her head, Crystal looked back at the library a few yards away. "No. Like you said, he probably wants some space and calling a search party will only invade his need for privacy right now. I want to check one place and if he's not there, would you mind looking around the gated grounds for a bit with me?"

"I'm out on patrol right now anyway, so it's no problem."

"Thanks." Crystal rubbed her arm again. "I'm sorry to be a burden."

Tamarack shrugged. "Like I said, it's no problem. If anything, you made my shift more interesting."

"Thanks."

"So, where to?"

"Do you pick up a strong odor? Kind of metallic?"

"Yeah, all around here. Why? Is that you're mate's scent?" Tamarack asked with a raised brow and wrinkle of her nose.

Heat flushed over Crystal's cheeks. "Yeah."

She turned, not wanting to tell her more. She and Tamarack weren't close anymore and hadn't been for years. Tiberius' curse was more than she wanted to share with her.

After walking around the library and crossing over the field, Tamarack cleared her throat as they neared the pond.

"I'm happy for you, Cris. That you found your mate. And I'm sorry about the way I treated you."

Crystal stopped in her tracks and looked up at the taller girl.

The moonlight flashed on her rich, curly brown hair that she had pulled back in a ponytail. She smoothed back the loose strands from her face as she looked down at the grass at their feet. "I know I don't have any excuse for what happened and it's been bothering me the last couple of years, but I was too ashamed to say anything."

Tears prickled behind Crystal's eyes as emotion clogged her throat. "You really hurt me, Tam."

The pain collected from the last few years wrapped around her chest and constricted. The rawness made it harder to breathe. Years of isolation and self-depreciating thoughts warred within her.

She had always wished she had the courage to face Tamarack and demand to know why she betrayed her and tell her how much she hurt her. Now that the time had come, she fought the sick feeling within as the memories resurfaced.

"I know." Her voice was low and heavy with regret.

"I needed you," Crystal said. "You were my best friend and I was going through so much on my own and you... You turned your back on me and made fun of me."

"I didn't know you were having seizures and when I saw..." Tamarack shuddered. "It's been gnawing away at me ever since. I just stood there..."

Tamarack was hanging her head now. A heavy weight weighing down on her shoulders.

"I just stood there like an asshole. I didn't try to help you and after the way I treated you..." she grimaced, avoiding Crystal's gaze. "I hated myself for it. I couldn't face you then and I didn't know what to say after. So, I took the coward's route and avoided you altogether so I could pretend it never happened."

Crystal held herself, tears spilling down her cheeks and she realized that she had been equally cowardly. Avoiding Tamarack for years, letting her feelings of betrayal eat away at her instead of confronting Tamarack in the first place. It could have diffused the situation and tension and opened the pathways to healing, and instead, she ran away and let the poison fester within.