Broken Strings

C H A P T E R T W E N T Y - T W O

"I've never been that girl. I'm only good, on the inside. And I thought that someone would appreciate that." Her voice held every bit of emotion but her eyes, they were dull, faded and empty, as she stared back at him. "I thought you would appreciate that. It doesn't even matter anymore."

"I've always been the nice girl. The girl who gives in easily and forgives too easily. I've looked for the good in people. But that's why I ended up like this, isn't it?"

"The only thing I ever got was heartbreak. Because I'm that kind of girl. It's because girls like me get used, they get played. Simply because they're too nice and they forgive, they believe people when they say they've changed." She sucked in her lips, she could taste the salty tears that always seemed to adorn her face. "But girls like Cassie, like Amanda, they know how to get what they want. They don't stop until they get what they want."

But Anisha wasn't like that. As much as she wished she was, she just wasn't.

She let out a deep sigh. She felt her face getting hot. And her stomach, it was killing her. The medicine didn't seem to be working anymore.

Maybe her dosage needed to be increased. Or maybe she needed stronger painkillers.

Neither was the real answer. The real answer was it was all over. The ending was closer than she had expected it to be.

Her finger gripped onto the chair, bony and frail. The tears had dried up a while ago, maybe she was finally done crying.

"They would be the kind of wife who'd keep a husband like you on their toes. But me, I'm the kind of girl that's the second choice, always. Even for her own husband. And it's because I'm the nice girl, the girl who's naïve and forgiving." She waited for him to say something, to say anything. Instead, he was just staring at her, a blank look on his face. He hadn't said a single word, not a single sound.

Anisha wasn't even sure what she even wanted him to say. Sorry? It wouldn't change anything. I love you? It was bullshit.

He hadn't done or said anything, in a really long time, that would make her feel loved. The things she had suffered through, they'd made it clear. She was his second choice. Her husband couldn't even stay in love with her.

It was because Anisha Hayes was never enough.

And she wanted Mira to be nothing like her, absolutely nothing like her. She wanted Mira to be like Amanda. The kind of girl who didn't get her heart broken. The kind of girl who knew how to get what she wanted. To go after what she wanted. She didn't want Mira to be naïve or nice. She wanted Mira to be nothing like her.

"If Mira grows up to be nothing like me, I'd be happy. More than anything, I don't think I'd be able to handle someone breaking my daughter's heart the way you broke mine."

Anisha offered him a small smile, her gaze drifted back to the floor. She focused on the dark, wooden floor, admiring it as though it was the most interesting thing.

"Do you remember when Mira was five, she had that princess storybook and she'd always ask one of us to read to her at night?" Heaviness filled Anisha's voice and her eyes were glossy again.

She was going to be leaving her kids behind.

"Sometimes, she would hold the book in her hand and read to me instead. She didn't even know the alphabet yet. But she would point to the pictures and make up random words, random stories. God, it was beautiful. She used to laugh and smile and tell the cutest stories possible. I would sit there, smiling. And I would hope that nothing would ever take that kind of happiness away from her."

Anisha, she smiled. A soft but painful smile.

"And then I'd tuck her into bed, with the blue Cinderella pillows around her and her pink teddy bear on the nightstand. I used to stand by the door and just watch her for a little bit. And then, I'd come here and wait for a little bit. Promising myself, that you were finally going to change. And then, I'd cross my fingers and hope that Mira would grow-up to be nothing like me."