The Girlfriend Experience

Chapter 3: After Darkness

Rhiannon

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I'm not ready.

I'm not ready to face high school

I'm not ready to face the world.

I'm not ready to face him.

Three days locked up inside my room and the time has come. I had to get myself out of bed, get ready to go back to school. I don't want to go back to school. I don't want to see anyone or anything, especially him. The chances of running into him were high; really high actually. We had three classes together plus lunch. There's no way I'm equipped to handle being around him today. My heart is still very much wounded and seeing how fragile it is it might just give out when I'm in his presence.

That's it.

I'm staying home today. I need a few more days to get over this. I need a billion years actually but seeing how I have to deal with life and other complications a few more days will suffice.

I close my eyes nestling deeper into my bed and suddenly the door opens up and light floods my room. My eyes fly open. I lift my head to try to see who's standing in front of the doorway.

"Rhiannon." It's my Mother and she's approaching. "Baby, you have to go to school today."

"No, mom," I moan.

She sighs sitting down in front of me. "I know this must be hell for you but you've been locked in here for days. You need sunlight and solid food and," she pauses and leans down to sniff me, "a shower.

"Mom, I don't care about any of that. What I need is time to heal." I tell her.

"Oh, Rhi." She places her hand over her face to think. "I'm sorry this is happening to you, really honey I am but this isn't going to help solve anything. When your father and I divorced I didn't stay in bed for three days and sulk, no I had to be strong because I still had a life to live. You're still young baby, it's not the end of the world because he broke up with you__ maybe it's the beginning of something new."

I roll over to the other side giving my back to her. I didn't want to hear this right now. Why would she bring up the divorce now? Like, it's supposed to make me feel better. The divorce was one of the worst time of my life up until recently that is. My father traded my mother in for a newer model leaving us to scathe behind without him. The bastard had the nerves to marry the whore he left my mother for. It was cruel and not just to my mom but to my little sister and me as well. It was like giant slap across the face.

The divorce took a toll on us. We all tried to be strong especially my mother but at night I could hear her muffled cries and in the morning she would wear dark shades pretending it was part of her work uniform as if I didn't know what she was hiding. Unlike her I can't hide my swollen red eyes under Steve Madden shades, I can't force my heart to heal itself, I'm not like her.

"Rhi, please get out of bed." She rubs my shoulder. When I don't budge she gets all tough love on me. "You're going to school today and that's an order young lady. I'm going downstairs to fix you something to eat so get up and take a shower.

She gets up and walks away. When she closes the door behind her the room is shrouded in darkness again. There's something different about this darkness. It's not welcoming anymore and I don't like the way it makes me feel. I've been in it for too long. It isn't me, I'm a happy joyous person, that's something I vowed to never let anyone take away from me not even him. My heart may be aching but I know a little positivity will do it some good. I have to start somewhere right.