Finding My Wanted in the Unknown

Chapter 6

I turned the corner and say the staircase that I'd taken to get up here earlier. I quickly moved down the stairs and reached for the front door. The only thing I could feel see was that doorknob and the fresh air smell was taking over my body. I reached for the knob and turned the handle, only to have a large hand reach out and close it again.

I fell asleep hours ago but my mind didn't fully shut off. I woke up more exhausted than before I fell asleep. Alem was lying beside me and I placed my hand on his back. My son was getting so big so quickly. Looking at him made me ache for Evangeline to be here. I wish Alem could have a mother and a father. I wish he had a better father. One that was able to deal with his emotions and move on.

I just felt so empty and lost inside that I wanted to die. Each day seemed to be getting harder for me and I didn't understand why. Wasn't time supposed to make things easier? I needed to get my shit together for my son and for Lucy. She was a good woman and she'd be a great stand in for Evangeline. She clearly loved Alem and I knew she was attached to him. I could try to find happiness with her. I would do that for my son. I made a vow right then and there to be a better man and do whatever I had to do for Alem. If forcing myself to be happy with another woman was what I had to do, then so be it.

"Momma," Alem whimpered in his sleep. It caused me to look at him and stop rubbing his back.

"Don't hurt her," He said again and I felt anger rush through my body. What in the world was he dreaming about? I touched his face and immediately I saw what he was seeing. There was a beautiful woman who was chained against a wall. She was bleeding from her nose and lip and there were bruises all over her body. A woman was standing in the darkness, beating her with a whip. She was screaming awful things at the beautiful woman, all while she begged for forgiveness. She kept repeating she wouldn't do it again and that she'd never leave. She just wanted to smell the clean air. I couldn't take anymore and I removed my hand from Alem's head. I shook him awake and he sat up quickly, looking around the room.

"Momma?" He asked loudly, getting off the bed and running for the door.

"Alem, who are you looking for?" I got off the bed and followed him out into the living room. He was moving around, looking behind the furniture, in the bathroom and even in the closet. He started to cry and I picked him up in my arms.

"Talk to me. What just happened?" He gripped the back of my shirt and cried on my shoulder.

"I saw her," He cried.

"Saw who? Who was that you were dreaming about?"

"Mom. Remember, Dad. You have to remember her." Alem moved his head back to look me in the eye. His small hands grabbed my cheeks and forced my face right in front of his. I could see the concentration in his eyes and I could actually feel his emotions swimming around.

"Calm down, Alem. Take a breath."

"No! You have to remember." I felt a jolt of something flash through me and it forced me to my knees. My head hurt like someone smashed something against it and I released my hold on Alem.

"Stop, Alem..." I forced out through the pain but he didn't. It was like he turned up the intensity. My body broke out in a sweat and I gasped for breath. I put my hand on Alem's chest and pushed lightly, making his hands come off my face.

I opened my eyes to see a man standing in front of me and then I blacked out.

"Where are you going, Larissa?" Robert asked me as he pushed the door closed quickly.

"I just wanted to smell the fresh air. I couldn't sleep." I looked at him confused because I didn't think I was forced to stay inside.

"You can't leave. You will never leave me. I thought we were past this? I thought you said you'd be a good girl and do whatever I asked. Why would you try to leave me?" He took his hand off the door and moved me towards him. As my body faced his, he smacked me hard, causing me to fall to the ground. I grabbed my cheek and looked up at him in shock.