full moon ♡ jacob black

05 » CONFRONTATION

10:00 AM
Jacob's POV

I never thought in a million years that I would imprint on someone. I don't know why, but I never considered a life where I could be with anyone else besides Bella, even now. For years I have still stupidly held out hope and prayed that maybe she would change her mind about me, leave Edward and then give me a chance.

Now all of a sudden she has a sister in Forks, a sister whom I've imprinted on. It's an involuntary thing, an impulse and feeling that none of us are able to prevent or control. That was demonstrated with Emily, Sam and Leah. Plus, if I could have chose, I wouldn't be in this mess.

I have no clue what she felt in that moment, but for me, it's almost as if the world stopped spinning for just a moment; the only two people who existed were her and I. Our eyes locked, my heart almost beat out of my chest and I had the sudden urge to be as close to her as the physical world would allow me to be. There was barely any conversation after I pulled myself out of my daze.. and then ran out of the door like a child.

It literally pained me to leave the room after I had locked eyes with my soulmate for life, but fear took over my body at the sudden prospect that I now truly do have a reason to keep going, a reason to actually exist. The only reason. Emily chased after me and stopped when I finally made it past Sam, but once I hit the edge of the woods I phased and there was no way she could have caught me then.

I felt awful leaving Delphine (which I only learned her name from listening to Seth's inner monologue) behind in such a moment, but God, I had to get away. That's Bella's sister. Her eighteen year old sister in her senior year of high school. She doesn't know anything about who or what I am. How could she accept the fact that she's destined to be in love with a guy who's not only older than her, but a guy who was once madly in love with her older sibling?

I assume that could be uncomfortable for anyone. Hours went by and I dreaded returning back to the reservation so I went to the next best place, the La Push beach.

I go out there to think quite often, especially when the pack radio won't stop in my head. It's like constantly listening to a station that plays terrible music but the dial is broken so you're stuck with it forever.

Somehow the water out there brings me peace.. serenity.

Being apart of this pack isn't necessarily what I thought my life was going to be like before I phased for the very first time. But now that I think about it, I'm not sure that I had a lot of things keeping me stable at the time, so the pack was kind of a blessing.

The longer I stayed out, the more my heart began to ache. It's hard to explain. It's almost like a dull throbbing in my chest that I can't soothe.

When I had walked in that door and made eye contact with her, I could immediately smell her. A strawberry mixed with lavender, a perfect combination. An intoxicating smell seeping into my subconscious, bringing me closer but further from reality at the same time.

Delphine's brunette hair gently framed her face in the most delicate way and definitely fit the natural shape of her face nicely. The problem is that she looks like she could be Bella's twin, which makes me feel worse. Am I only attracted to Delphine because I was attracted to Bella first? Are either of those things connected in some way?

Maybe I never imprinted on Bella because she was with Edward and she could never be with me. Maybe I imprinted on Delphine because she is basically Bella except for the fact she doesn't have some creepy blood sucking boyfriend shooting eye daggers at me every time I'm around.