full moon ♡ jacob black

01 » FORKS

DELPHINE

On the day of my eighteenth birthday, I was given the disheartening news. I was being forced to move to Forks, Washington with my estranged father, Charlie.

My heartfelt like it snapped into pieces, and I felt so betrayed. The worst part is is that I'm being forced to leave. Now, being an eighteen-year-old in my senior year of high school does help me understand my mother's decision a little bit more, it's time for her baby bird to leave the nest. But I cannot say that I am really happy about this at all.

According to my mother, she and my stepfather are moving to Europe, and they strongly believe I should stay here to continue getting an American education; considering it's all I've ever known. Plus I'm about to graduate.

I think that's just their excuse to pawn me off on my father as they did with Bella. Except, for her, she made her choice to leave, technically. She decided to do the noble thing and skip town so Mom could go with Phil, not tying her to a specific place.

If you can't tell, I've never been too keen on the idea of my sister. You could most definitely say I'm bitter and hold some negative feelings in my heart towards her. That could be me just being an asshole or the fact that I've held this grudge longer than I can remember. Is it healthy? No. But it's been a driving force to have my own identity, and for that I am thankful.

Bella was able to spend eight years with both Mom and Charlie. I guess the stress of having two children is what broke the camel's back, because three months after my birth; he took off.

Bella did stay but left every summer to spend with Charlie up until she was fourteen. He was a stranger to me, so I opted out more often than not and he never seemed to question it, which is kind of disheartening itself.

The thought of actually having to live with a man that I barely know is off-putting, and the years of therapy couldn't save me from this. My coping skills are almost nonexistent when it comes to this portion of my life. Abandonment issues run rampant in my family and having a dad who doesn't exist didn't help with that.

There are no pictures of the whole family together. Just pictures of my Mom, Charlie, and Bella. All of the pictures after that are of Renée, Bella, and I, featuring our stepdad here and there. That doesn't make up for the lack of my actual father being in my life. When Bella would take off to visit him annually, I was left with taking care of our mother's emotional and physical state.

I've always felt second best like I've never mattered as much as Bella. I think my mother partly blames me for my dad leaving, but she's never admitted it. It's obvious which child she favors, though. Now that I'm older I try to be more understanding because I know that our mom has trauma, but it bled onto her children before she received any real help.

I haven't spoken to nor seen my sister since the day she left, although she came to visit once before her graduation. Fortunately, I was gone to a friend's house for the duration of her visit. I was too afraid to see her again, and I assumed the pain would be too great having her ripped away from me once again.

Strangely enough, I didn't go to her wedding either. I heard it was happening, considering I live with my mother and she's.. well, my mother, but I didn't attend the ceremony. At that point, I still hadn't changed my mind.

"Are all your boxes packed?" My mother questions, hurriedly picking up small items laying around the house that belongs to me and putting them in a box labeled 'misc.'

"Yes," I mumble unhappily.

"Come on, Delphine. Don't be so upset about this. You've always wanted a better relationship with your father, this is your chance. You could also reconnect with Bella—" I interrupt her.