I'm Still Ella (ft. Niall Horan)

Chapter 6 - Accepting

     Dinner is nice, as expected. I can't say Niall is the best cook out there, but I do enjoy his food enormously. The conversation is casual and nice, he makes me laugh and I tease him. He asks me a lot about my friends and how studying medicine was. I end up telling him about the friends I made on the way, like Rhiannon and Ann. When I tell him about Ann and what she does, he says Ariel, his best friend basically, knows her as she did the soundtrack for the first movie she produced.

It's surprising how small the world is and that the little girl I met so many years ago is now Niall's best friend, and not only that but she's also Harry's girlfriend. That same little girl who hid behind her father is now a respected singer songwriter.

It's a bit hard to believe at times, when I see her on billboards or I hear her songs on the radio.

When we are done with dinner, I offer to help him with the dishes but he refuses. "Plus, I'll put everything in the dishwasher anyway," he adds and I accept defeat. So while he rinses the dishes I go to the living room to wait for him.

One of the most impressive things about Niall's flat is how... musical it is. There are guitars everywhere, and prices I don't even recognise. Records hung from the walls, painting the picture of a successful musician. I can recognise at least some from when he was in One Direction and when he worked as a solo artist.

I'm so captivated watching one of the records—that actually is a gold record—, humming to the soft sonf that plays in the background, that I don't notice when Niall is by my side.

"That was when my album got gold in Ireland," he speaks, surprising me.

"Your first solo album, right?" I question, briefly looking at him before turning to the record.

"Yes. Every time I look at this wall, with everything I've accomplished, I feel so grateful. These were my dreams while growing up and I still have a hard time believing I accomplished them."

His tone is soft, carrying the deep satisfaction he feels as his eyes scan the wall with the many milestones in his career.

"I liked more your solo music than the band, no offence," I tell him.

"Wow, I'm surprised you even listened to my music," Niall laughs, meeting my eyes and raising his eyebrows when he realises I'm not laughing with him.

"For your information, I'm not the same ass you met. I overcame all my issues with celebrities and I did listen to your music. I bought your album and everything. I really liked it," I tell him, folding my arms in an attempt to look more seriously.

"You did?" He's more surprised than I expected.

"Of course. One, I was curious. And two, it was good. Everyone talked about it and your face was everywhere. I couldn't help myself, and I really enjoyed it."

Incredibly, Niall's cheeks taint with an adorable pink and he avoids my eyes for a second, rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous gesture.

"That... that first album was, actually, mostly about... well, you."

It's my turn to look surprised, my eyebrows raising and lips parting. "Really?" I ask like an idiot, but it's worth it because Niall's blush only deepens and that's just adorable.

"I mean, despite everything you were always a big part of my love experience and I still had a lot to say, but I couldn't say those things to you. I didn't even know how to say everything I felt, I wanted. So... I wrote songs," he explains and my mind goes over all those songs he released a while ago, connecting them to me... to us.

I can't lie, I feel both incredible pressured and touched that he did such a thing. Knowing those songs are about me make me as self conscious as it makes my heart race. I listened to them so many times, but I always told myself that I couldn't be so self-centred to think he could be talking about me, about what we had.