Partners In Crime [On Hold]

Chapter Eighteen

His eyes settled on mine, but then I averted them down again.

"And?" Drake pushed. "And now?"

I frown at the leafs on the pavement. "Now what?"

"You're not okay, are you?"

I inhaled slightly, but kept myself firm. My foot pushed a rock away, and it rolled to Drake. I stared at it for a few seconds.

"No."

Quietly Drake's foot kicked the rock back. "Want to talk?"

Did I? I wouldn't mind, but...would it hurt me again? I couldn't afford Drake to look at me as a weak, helpless little thing.

But a secret part of me did. It said it wanted someone to see how vulnerable I was right now.

I realized, I was craving for affection.

With no delay I put my hands around his neck before he could do or say anything to object.

I wrapped my fingers as in a prayer, pushing my chest onto his abdomen. He was wearing a jacket, but the heat was breaking through and I could feel it dance on my shirt and I could feel his breathing and I could smell the scent of soap and safety and shelter and all those comforting things.

And I was very, very grateful as he wrapped his arms around me as well, and whatever space there was disappeared and I felt very vulnerable, and very weak, and I was sad and angry, indifferent and lonely, but I was grateful and I was okay.

And for the first time I breathed out in relief.

This was familiar.

This was good.

This was safety.

And the tears came. Quietly they ran. I did not sob or scream or shake. But they came, the before resistant tears ran freely down my skin, staining Drake's jacket. But I didn't care.

I didn't care.

I didn't care.

"You're cold." Drake whispered.

"But I feel warm." I say, slight disbelieved. "I'm fuzzy."

I could feel a smile where his chin rested on the top of my head. "Nah. That's just what my manliness makes you feel."

And there was a bubble of laughter choking my throat. "Drake.."

And he didn't answer. He knew I wasn't wanting his attention. I said his name with relief.

Somehow, he knew.

"What happened?" He asks and I sink deeper into him, smothering my face.

"My..."

The words tasted metallic on my tongue and I wondered how they would be when I voiced them.

"Cancer." I finish, taking a short cut. "And...other stuff."

I could feel him. So I noticed the slight erratic breathing, but it went back to normal.

He didn't say anything, he didn't need to say anything, and I wished he wouldn't say anything.

He was quiet, but his grip on my waist tightened.

And I was grateful.

"Brandon," I chuckle. "And Nove knows something I don't."

This time Drake was awfully controlled with his breathing.

"Sure they do." He answers.

"And so does Awlon."