from zero ; chanbaek

[start]

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b

How did we end up here? Rock bottom with no more hope in sight. We're both distant, we're desiring for different things but we both still want to love each other.

Aren't we hurting ourselves too much? We can't love each other when we both can't look each other in the eye and say that we love each other. We have to say those three words while looking at different things, why can't we look at each other?

We both love each other yes but do we even feel it? Where is the warmth in our kisses? In our hugs? Why are we like this, we're desperate. We just want to love but we're doing it wrong, we forced ourselves.

We can't continue on like this, we have to stop. We live together but I feel alone in this big house. I can't even call this place home, it doesn't feel like one. We sleep beside each other but we never touch.

Did we really mean what we said to each other when we were holding hands in front of everybody, saying our vows? I'm scared.

We've made love once but I know you felt nothing because I didn't. I felt something, I felt love but I don't want to assume things. Trust me is what you would say when you felt that our relationship is heading down, is sinking. But how could I trust you when we want the same thing?

Distance is what we both want.

Funny isn't it? I'm speaking for myself, I haven't heard you speak but I can feel it. I love you is what I say while staring at the television, you beside me while eating popcorn. You would respond with the same three words.

We never look each other in the eye, we never connect, and we never click. Our differences just don't click. I think it's best if we part ways.

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c

How did we end up here? Rock bottom with hope in sight. We're both distant, we're desiring for different things but we both still want to love each other. There's always a way to fix something.

We may be hurting ourselves but we can both still stay and try, there's nothing wrong in trying again right? We don't look at each other when we say that we love each other but love shouldn't be something you can see through the eye only. You can feel it, through the heart.

I know that there's still love in our dead relationship, we just let our words speak ahead of us. My kisses to you are filled with my love, I don't know why you can't feel it. We can still love, there's no wrong way in loving a person. I never forced myself to love you, I fell for you and I don't regret it.

We really can't continue on like this, we shouldn't stop. Instead of giving up on our relationship we can find ways to fix it. I will never get tired of fixing the broken us, I want to see the better us in a better place. This big house isn't my home because you are. You are my home, my love. We do sleep beside each other yet we don't touch, that doesn't mean that I don't love you.

I meant every single word that came out from my mouth the day we finally became one, the day we got married. I don't regret anything and I genuinely mean every single word. Please don't be scared, I'm here.

We did make love once, I gave you my all. You were my first and my last. I know you felt something, you just don't want to show it. It's okay. Trust me is what I would say to you when I felt that our relationship is heading down, is drowning. I trust you and I know you trust me too. I know we want the same thing, we're just too quiet to say it out loud.

Love is what we both want.

You think you know everything but you don't. You speak ahead of yourself and you think that everything you feel is wrong. I love you is what you would say while staring at the television while I eat popcorn, I would respond with the same three words but I hope you know that I mean it. I know you mean your three words too.

We never look each other in the eye, we never connect, and we never click. Our differences just don't click. I think it's best if we find a solution to our broken relationship. Let's start again from zero. Let's forget about our differences and know each other again from zero, there's always a second chance and I'm not letting this chance slide.

Trust me is what I would say and I mean it.

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cb

You're all I need to keep me going but why are we forcing ourselves to break? There's always a chance but one of us is giving up while the other is trying to solve the broken us.

I love you is what we say, we both know that we both feel the same but why are we trying to give up?

Don't give up on us, please.

I'm trying to. I'm trying so hard.

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SOON

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ilysm my smol beans ~

-xmb