seat no. 38 ⌮ lai guanlin

c h a p t e r 35.

Guanlin~

"My father didn't die on seat no. 38, nor that bus" Seonho sighed. "It seems as if Seohee gave you false information- it was bus stop no. 38. But yeah, it's true that my father did like that seat."

"Tell me everything- from the very start to the very end." I took him by the collar to threaten him.

"Calm down, I'll tell you" He tried to push away my arm, so I let go. "My father had favouritism over one of us, of course- and by now you might have guessed it, it was Daehwi."

"Because he's the son from the legal wife?"

"Exactly," He continued. "After our father was kicked out from his home, he would come to our house everyday- drunk. He would abuse my mom, me, and even Seohee. That's why my mom became the way she is now... but whenever Daehwi came over, he would pretend as if he's perfectly normal."

"Then?"

"Well, he loved Daehwi so much... as of Seohee- he treated her better than me, since she was the only daughter... I had no space in his life. We were all treated differently by him- he spoiled Daehwi, he talks to Seohee sometimes, and I was just completely invisible to him."

"I can't believe there are actually parents like that." I sighed.

"Then came the jealousy. I was fine with appa, but Seohee. She envied Daehwi so much, hoping that she'd get the same attention as he got too. One day, Daehwi didn't really come to our house as much anymore- because his mom found out. Appa went back to his 'usual' self- drinking, beating up my mother, mistreating us."

"I didn't know..."

"Seohee suddenly hated appa. She despised him, actually... but then, Daehwi came to our house, five years ago in winter. We all went out- us children with our dad. Daehwi and I were ten, and Seohee was nine. We got to the bus stop, near a bridge. Bus stop number thirty-eight..." He started shivering.

"If you can't say it, it's okay..."

"Seohee pushed our father off the bridge, and he fell to his death. His head hit the rock hard ice, and then the ice broke right after, causing him to drown in the freezing cold water. It was homicide, and we all saw it- Daehwi, Seohee, and I."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Seohee killed our father. She's a juvenile delinquent... and that's her secret."

I was speechless, I was in lost of words and I couldn't comprehend. I'm dating a girl... who murdered her own father.

"You've always asked why I got moved back one grade- it's because my mom forced me to look after Seohee, just in case..."

What have I gotten myself into?

Should I break up with her, or should I just talk to her and get things clear? She still lied to me.

"I know what you're thinking... but I promise, Seohee's a good person. She changed a heck lot, and I know that she wouldn't do that ever again."

But how could they be so sure?

___________________

Seohee~

"He won't answer." I kept on clicking the call button, frustrated as Guanlin won't pick up.

We got home, but Baejin and Pinky still stayed with me until I got news about Guanlin. I'm starting to get super worried.

There was a sudden hard knock on the front door, so I went to get it.

"Guanlin!" I hugged him right away. "Where have you been? You made me worry-"

"Let's talk," He pushed me away, and sat on the couch. "Can you two give us some privacy?" He told Baejin and Pinky.

"Alright. We'll see you then." They waved, and left the house.

I'm suddenly nervous to find out what he's about to say.

"How could you keep these things from me?" He shouted, which startled me. I've never seen him this angry before.

"I'm sorry..." I suddenly started crying, because I'm afraid.

"Daehwi is your brother, you lied about your father's accident- and what else? Oh yeah, you murdered your own father-"

I suddenly slapped him.

Because whenever I get reminded of what I've done, I start to hate myself allover and allover again.

"It was an accident... I was blinded by my anger, and I didn't mean it! I still regret what I've done- until the day that I die, I won't forget that. It's so hard for me whenever someone reminds me of what happened, because it's eating me alive, and sometimes I just want to..."

"You just want to what?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"If I can kill my father, I can also kill myself."

__________________

Guanlin~

"If I can kill my father, I can also kill myself." Her voice cracked, and her knees suddenly gave in so she fell on the floor.

"You're not doing that..." I mumbled.

"I fucking murdered my father..." She cried with guilt. "And the pain of having that taught in my brain always haunts me."

I didn't know what to do, so I just sat there and did not say a single word.

"If you want to now, then just say it." She uttered.

"Say what?"

"That you want to break up with me... you don't want anything to do with a murderer right? You're scared that what happened to him might happened to you as well."

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Song: I Don't Love You Anymore (널 사랑하지 않아) by Urban Zakapa (어반자카파)