jokes that make you lol

1st page of jokes

joke one-

 

 

Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?

A: Their balls are just for decoration.

 

 

 

joke two-

 

 

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

 

 

joke three-

 

 

 

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

 

 

 

 

joke four-

 

 

 

Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"

Brunette: "I don’t know."

Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

 

 

 

 

joke five-

 

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

 

 

 

joke six-

 

 

A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably, "My wife missed the bus." #

 

 

 

 

 

joke seven-

 

 

Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."

 

 

 

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I am so sorry if you find any jokes offensive or anything, and I know I said I would update before june but I have been so busy guys like I would but I have been trying to get these ones for you guys so sorry xxxxx