Broken Strings

C H A P T E R T W E N T Y - O N E

Practically with everyone, everyone, except with Mira.

Mira loved her father, unconditionally. And maybe, maybe it was just because she wasn't yet aware of how much of a fuck-up he was.

Still, whenever Mira looked at him, her brown eyes were always filled with joy and hope. For once, just for once, he didn't feel like failure.

Mira gave him hope, that he could be a better. He had failed everyone in his life. But not Mira. Never Mira.

And now, he wasn't sure if Mira was even his blood.

It was a small doubt. He just wanted an answer: yes or no.

It wouldn't change anything. It really wouldn't.

He wouldn't blame Anisha. Because the only person he could really blame was himself.

Mira, he'd love her the same. Anisha, he wouldn't give up on her.

He'd win her back. As long and hard as it took. He was sure of it this time.

"Why do you trust her so much?" Because that was exactly what Anisha wanted to know. "You trust her more than you trust me yet I'm the one you married. You don't trust me at all. You never have. That's why we are where we are today."

Anisha pulled her hair back into a small bun. Her face felt hot. A fever perhaps, that was the last thing she wanted.

She had managed to convince Andrew to take the kids to Disneyland tomorrow. For Mira. For Ryan. So they could remember that their mother had given them all she had to offer. That she had smiled alongside them.

Mira had been looking forward to going to Disneyland for weeks now.

Anisha didn't want to get sick. Her immune system was weak. She easily got sick, a sore throat or a fever. But now, now she was close to the end.

A small fever and she wasn't sure if she'd get better.

She needed to sleep. She wanted to sleep.

"It isn't like that. I just...Mira doesn't look like me." Andrew gently brushed the hair away from her face. Anisha was pale, she looked extremely pale.

He knew something was wrong. He had known something was wrong. But whenever he asked, she always said she was feeling fine.

That wasn't the case though. Even Ryan knew that something was wrong with her. And Andrew needed to know, he wanted to know. It was one of the many things he wanted to ask her about.

But when Anisha spoke, her voice soft but broken, it tore him apart. It was as if everything from the lies around them to the failing marriage between them had drained her of everything. Her voice was dull and she looked even duller.

Because of him.

"That's because she looks like me. Just like how Ryan looks like you." She looked down at her hands, she had given up. It was that simple. She didn't have anything else to give him. She had already given him everything she had to offer.

"Do you remember when I told you I was pregnant again and you, you were so happy and then when we found out that it was a girl, I remember how excited you were because it was our baby girl." Anisha looked up at him, a soft smiling gracing her lips. "You wanted to paint her room pink. Every time we'd go shopping for baby stuff, you'd always pick that stupid Cinderella bed sheet. It's no surprise Mira's obsessed with Cinderella. We, we were so happy when Mira was born. I thought that things could finally be better."

"And you used to me that you wanted the little girl to grow up to be just like me. You'd tell me you wanted Mira to grow up and be just like me. Because you loved me."

Anisha blinked her eyes, trying to clear the tears that were once again clouding her vision. "I carried your daughter, Andrew. For nine months, I carried your daughter in my stomach. And you have the decency to accuse me of being unfaithful? Do you really think I would cheat on out just out of spite? Just because I wanted to hurt you like you have been hurting me for years?"

She looked down at her wrists, her wrists highlighted with scars that had faded over time. Things she had done to ease the pain.

"Because I didn't. I've told you over and over that I've been nothing but faithful to you. The day I married you, I vowed to be faithful. For you, they may have just been a few words but for me, those few words meant everything. And I've stayed true to those words. Even if I wanted to, I just couldn't cheat on you."

She smiled softly and then reached for his hand.

"This Andrew." Anisha ran his finger along the marks on her wrist, tracing each individual artwork of pain she'd crafted with a razor blade. "This is what I used to do because I was hurting."

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I had midterms this week and needed a little break so I wrote this ;) Sorry if it's kinda rushed. After I finish the book, I'll edit it. Thank you all for reading!