Jily: A hidden love - indefinite hiatus

Chapter Twenty-one

Chapter Twenty-one

Hey so y’all know I don’t do like the whole shout-out thing a lot because I don’t like it but seriously y’all NEED to read this story: Letters to my Rose by @accioerica. It is like amazing and I love it and it’s sad and perfect and amazing all at once so yeah go check it out.

Disclaimer: Dis be the JKR’s story line and characters.

Important A/N at the bottom!!!!

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Lily POV

“Okay, so one more time.” Marlene said. “You two are basically friends with benefits, but in secret?”

“Marlene!” I screeched red in the face. “It’s-it’s not like that! We care about each other!”

“Then tell me Lils, what is this!” Marlene was furious and I didn’t know why. “I know you Lily! You’re scared! You’re scared of commitment and being left behind! And by doing this,” she gestured her arms to the door that James left out of an hour ago. “You are going to hurt more people than just you! Trust me Lily I love you, but James is like my brother and he has been madly in love with you for as long as I can remember. By you playing this little game with him, this thing, you are going to break him! He cares about you more than anybody and-ˮ

“God Mar she gets it!” James had run through the door and was facing Marlene. I could guess he heard me and Marlene’s fight. Marlene and I have never had a fight like this though.

“James stop! You don’t get it!”

“Mar if anyone doesn’t get it, it’s you! I was the one who asked Lily to do this! And it’s really none of your business anyway-ˮ

“It is! You’re like my brother and-ˮ

“If I get hurt, screw it! It’s my own fault!”

“Fine James! Sorry for caring about you!” With that she ran out leaving me feeling like a horrible friend who can’t even fight her own battles.

“James I’m-ˮ

“Stop.” He snapped and instead walked over to me wrapping me in a hug. “I don’t know what this is,” he murmured against my hair. “But, whatever it is I’m glad we have something.”

“James,” I whispered looking into his deep brown eyes.

“I don’t get waves of missing you anymore. They’re more like tsunami tides in my eyes and they tell me that I need you, Lily.”

I sighed, “You’re so perfect and I’m a mess.”

He smirked. “But, you’re my mess.” I barked a short laugh.

“You’re so cheesy.”

“You like my cheesiness.” He said cheekily.

“James…” I all but whispered.

“Lil, you okay?” James ducked his head down to be eye level with me, concern was etched on his features.

“I, I want to be with you. But, Marlene was right.” I breathed.

He looked confused, “What do you mean?”

“I’m scared.” I said it barely audible, but we were so close I knew he heard.

“Lily, come here.” He grabbed my hand and sat down on the plush bed next to me. “I would never hurt you. No matter what happens I will always care about you. You mean everything to me. If- if I ever hurt you I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. You’re my everything and more and just please don’t be scared, I swear I’m not like…like him,” I knew he was talking about Severus. “I would never do what he did. Your blood status doesn’t change how smart or beautiful or kind you are, it doesn’t define you. You are you and that’s all that matters to me.” I gasped quietly and pulled him into me.

“James I…you’re too good for me,” I wanted this boy so bad it was dangerous. I couldn’t trust myself not to fall for him anymore because I already had. I knew it, I just couldn’t admit it. This boy was, like he said, my everything and I needed him.

“I will never be too good for you. Yo are too good for me.”

I closed my eyes and braced myself for the words to come, “I want to be with you…like officially, I trust you more than anyone…I feel like I can’t be one without you and-ˮ I couldn’t finish because James had pulled me in for a kiss. He was taking it slow and passion filled, but I wasn’t having it. I wanted James. Bad. I pushed him down onto the bed fully and laid next to him. I was nervous and shaking, but this was James, he wouldn’t make fun of me or get mad at me for doing this. He seemed shocked but let it happen as I deepened the kiss and made it more intense, and I ran my fingers through his hair. He let out a noise and put his hands on my waist.

“Lily,” He whispered against my lips. I hummed against his for an answer, “we should stop.” I soon realized we were sprawled on my bed together and his hands were under the hem of his sweatshirt that I was wearing. My face reddened and I sat up.

“Sorry.”

He scoffed, “Don’t be.” I rolled my eyes and him, but nonetheless was still blushing.

"We should- uh- we should go back down. Sirius and the lot of them are probably wondering where we are." I looked done and started to scurrying off, but before I could get far James grabbed my hand. I looked up at him and raised my eyebrows.

He chuckled, "Lily, they don't care, they've seen you sit on my lap."

And cue the blush once again. 

"Oh hush you prick." With that intelligent mark I pulled him out of the room after me. 

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"Marlene!" I yelled after her. As soon as she saw me and James come in the room she got up and started to walk away. "Mar I'm sorry!"

she sighed and looked at me. "Stop Lily. I should be sorry. It's obvious you wouldn't intentionally hurt him, it's just, he's like my brother and I don't want him to get hurt."

That made me scowl, "You know that would hurt me too Mar, wouldn't you care that your best friend-"

She scoffed, "Please Lily, I know you and you don't make irrational decisions. Unless you really didn't like him would you stop things between you two so obviously you wouldn't be heartbroken and in pieces. I care about you Lils, you're my best friend."

"Oh Marlene!" I giggled and pulled her to me. "No more fighting okay?"

She looked down and scrunched up her face, "Hey Lils?"

"Yeah Mar?"

"You wouldn't be mad if I told Sirius and Abi would you?"

"Marlene!"

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Sorry this chapter is like poop.

Like legitimate poop.

I will hopefully fix it up sometime next week.

I just really wanted to get in a chapter because my birthday is on Sunday and I'm celebrating it on Friday and Saturday. And tomorrow this poem I wrote is oing to be in this school show thing and I have dance then Friday not only am I hanging out with friends for my birthday, but it's my sisters prom. I would have posted Saturday, but in my town we have this thing called Charter day and it's like a fair so it's like how I'm celebrating my birthday and Sunday is my actual birthday and I have an essay due Tuesday so it's like NO TIME and I finished my homework early so I'm like, gotta update jily.

Thanks, sorry for that rambling, love y'all and thank you SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO much for 10k, like I never thought I'd even get 100 so y'all rock!

Divergentweasley