London Institute For The Mentally Ill (An Infernal Devices Fanfic)

XV

It felt normal, for a while.

Tessa will clock in, do her duties as a nurse, clock out when her shift ends, go home, have a hefty meal before taking a shower, and going to bed. Wash, rinse, repeat, up to the next day. Despite what one might think, she actually enjoyed the monotone. For once, her life is stable. She does not find that plain at all. It felt normal, and she felt normal, being inside the safe bubble of life cycles which she chose. She could get used to all things normal; she craved it that bad.

It was normal for a girl like her to shop, and so she did as soon as she gets her paycheck. She dropped by the mall on her off day and went to see what she can get. In the end, she went to the grocery to purchase her and Nate's stuff-- he gave her ample money for his toiletries and booze and insisted she keep the change. Turns out he is feeling particularly generous, for he still has £37 worth of change. Tessa smiled to herself. She now has money to pay for her meal before she goes home.

She felt the noisy chatter around her a comforting presence. The noise glued her still in earth, preventing her to drift in the corners of her mind.

She just strolled around, did some window shopping. If she liked what she on the displays, she'll grab it. She doesn't have to worry about the bills-- it was Nate's turn to pay for this month. She decided to be a spender, even just for tonight.

Not like she got much, though. She got a pretty necklace she'll probably never use, a pair of earrings that she thinks will go well with her nurse uniform, clothes she'll be stocking in her closet, a red party dress just in case anybody would invite her into one, in which it would be a miracle. She didn't got much books, either. There are no new releases. She brought the titles she longed to read, completely disregarding her unread ones in her room.

She didn't realize how tired she was until she propped herself to bed. Wandering around the mall sapped her bones dry. She closed her eyes, and it took her only a moment before she finally fell into a deep slumber.

It was one of those nights, where she'll be sleeping peacefully. Nightmares won't bother her, not in the least. She'd sleep the sleep of the drugged, and she'd totally miss her breakfast. She's on a night shift tomorrow so the risk of oversleeping doesn't bother her too much.

It felt good, it felt normal. For a while. Until she felt herself being held down to her bed. She tried to snap her eyes open, only to be kept shut. Ironically, she can see her surroundings; she is still in her dark bedroom, the ceiling staring back at her.

"Miss Gray." A familiar voice taunted. She froze, not willing herself to breathe. She felt his hand brush the side of her face tenderly, at which she felt her breath thin out, coldness creeping in to her body. "I did tried to warn you, didn't I?"

All of a sudden Mortmain is on top of her. She can tell that he's bare naked from what she can feel from him.

She wanted to get up. She wanted to hit the man. She can't do neither. She was stuck in her bed, and the oxygen in the room seems to be thinning.

She felt him trail wet sloppy kisses all over her body. Her mind imagined she was writhing, doing her best to shake him off. That's the only thing she can do.

"You're a very bad girl, Miss Gray." He murmured into her ear. He stared at her, blue eyes penetrating her very core, before he decided to invade her mouth. She whimpered. She wanted to bite the foreign tongue, but even her own mouth is betraying her.

He was suddenly inside her. She wanted to whine, but what only came out is a gust of wind. He violated her once more, blue predator eyes gazing down at her body. She stared at the ceiling. It felt wrong. It felt weird. But she stared nevertheless, fully aware just how hopeless she is.