This weekend was hard. We had a trunk or treat on Friday and it was so many people. The entire time I was freaking out and it was out in the open by the strip and I was terrified something would happen. I just have to accept that this is the new normal for me. As horrible as it sounds and as much as I wish it was not true it is.
Saturday we celebrated my boyfriends birthday. Usually me and him get drunk while hanging out with friends and he could but I couldnt. I was the only sober one and it was weird. All I wanted was a drink. To just drink all these thoughts and pain away. To forget about this all but I know I cant. It was only 9pm by the time I wanted to go to bed. I didnt want to leave the party and go upstairs that would be bad. It was my boyfriends birthday after all. I stayed downstairs till everyone left and then we went upstairs. I still couldnt sleep.
Ive been in so much pain but I dont want to tell anyone. They will just worry. I also cant hear out of my right ear. It comes and goes and there is constant ringing. It terrifies me. I cant feel part of my upper arm either and the nurse is really worried about it. And the muscle in my arm and stomach is deformed.
I just need to know that this is my new life. This is my new normal.
YOU ARE READING
Life with PTSD
Non-FictionThis is a way for me to get out my feelings and a way to help me. Also to get the word out about how much PTSD can change your life. How one event will break you. This has a lot of triggers and details about what happened October 1, 2017 in Las Vega...
