The Birds

2) Key to Freedom

DISCLAMER: Contains swearing, drug use and mental illness so beware.

***ABEL'S POV***

"Finally." I sighed as the bus reached my stop.

That bus ride felt longer than it should have. Probably because I had that bitch bothering me, stressing me out. I mean, what the fuck does she even see in me?

I'm nothing special. I have nothing to offer her except drugs. I'm not good looking, I'm not rich, I'm not talented, I'm not educated. I can't love her, or anyone, the way they deserve. All I do is hurt myself. What does anyone see in me to make them fall in love?

"Stop fucking thinking about it Abel." I muttered to myself as I reached the doors of my house.

I tend to overthink when I'm not high or when I'm alone. Ain't nobody feel the way that I feel when I'm alone.

"Yo! Anybody here?" I called out as I stepped into the hallway.

I shared this house with my bros Lamar and Hyghly. We weren't related, just friends since high school. We ran away together and dropped out of school. Maybe it wasn't the best of choices but it's happened now. No point dwelling on the past.

"Guess not." I said after receiving no reply.

I'd be alone all day today since it was a Friday. Lamar and Hyghly were probably out partying and I'd join them too but all I wanted for right now was to get faded all alone. I don't wanna spend this day without getting high.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of Alize and began drinking. Then I went into the bedroom where I kept my weed and ecstacy. I popped a pill and sparked up a blunt and sat against the wall. Time to forget.

I alternated between drinking from the bottle and smoking the blunt. I felt my mind being taken over as I stared out the window and watched the birds fly by.

The birds are like me in a way. They're free, can't be tied down. After a while in one place they'll go south... I suppose that's what I'm doing to her now. I was with her for a while but time's up and now I'm out.

Yeah... I'm just a bird.

***THURSDAY'S POV***

(1 week later)

I've been depressed ever since he left me. Im still totally in love with him and while he's out there fucking every girl in Toronto I'm here wondering what I should do.

I hate myself for not being good enough for him. I hate myself for not being able to get over him. I hate myself so much. I haven't left my house for days.

"Why can't I be good enough for him!" I cried as I continued to drink from a vodka bottle.

"Why. Why? Why!!? ABEL WHY!?" I screamed, throwing the bottle across the room where it landed near the door. Smashing into peices all over the floor.

I was an emotional wreck who was dependent on him. He warned me so so many times not to fall in love and I didn't fucking listen. I regret not heeding his warnings.

Everything I do leads to pain and regret.

I couldn't control myself around him. He was so sly with his words. His flirty personality left me wanting more. His sexy voice had me under his spell. His deep, dark, pain filled eyes made me want to love him how he deserved. The way he whispered in my ears would send shivers down my spine and make me weak in an instant.

My infatuation with him took over my life and now I can't take my life back. I feel so trapped, cornered in his little game. I could only see one way out for me.

"My key to freedom." I whispered with a sad smile as I stared at the gun in my lap.

Tears began to well in my eyes again. This is what my life has lead to. This gun. Right here right now. Once again I sobbed loudly the only difference was this time there was a loaded gun right in front of me waiting to be used.

I pushed the covers aside and tipsily stumbled  out of my bed and made my way to the bathroom. I was pretty drunk and high at the moment and had been for several days. My mind was fucked, I felt brain dead. Abel had emotionally murdered me.

"Yeesh... I look awful." I said as I looked at myself in the mirror.

The reflection that stared back at me had become almost unrecognizable. I was a hollow shell of who I'd once been. Make up was smeared all over my face, the life sucked out of my eyes. Better fix that, I can't look a state where I'm going.

I hopped in the shower and cleaned myself up. Then I put on some make up so I would look as good as I could possibly look right now. My eyeshadow was bright and in the colours yellow, blue and pink. It made me look more alive and as if I wasn't dying. I did my blonde hair up in a sort of pin up style and put on the prettiest black dress I had with some heels.

I definitely looked the best I had looked in a while.

I took a look over to the gun laying on my bed. Did I really want to do this? Yes. Yes I did. I took a deep breath and picked the gun up, with my finger on the trigger. No. No I don't. I placed the gun back on the bed.

I looked at my reflection. Then back at the gun. Then at my reflection again. Then at the gun once more. A war was going on inside of me.

"Do it. You'll be free of Abel. This is your way out. Your key." I told myself

I picked the gun back up.

"No! There's another way. If you do this it's over." My conscience told me.

"Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP!" I shouted.

I was going to do this. This was my only way out. After this is done I'll no longer be trapped. I'll be free, like a bird, like Abel. If he can be free then so can I.

"It's time..." I said to myself as I hid the gun in my purse.

"Time to pay Abel a visit."

What do you guys think she's gonna do and do you think she should do it?
Hope you enjoyed part 2!!! I love all of the comments you guys leave so keep 'em coming AND watch out for part 3 cause it's gonna be a heavy one.
Until next time XO 💖