Pour Me A Cup Of Tea, Please

❤

FRIENDS

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Honestly, I missed my friends a lot.

Lately, we hadn't being ourselves like we did to each other. We fought so much that literally everyone cried everytime we had a fight, even if it was the smallest.

I don't know how to say it but our friendship keeps me going. We had so much fun. We laughed, joked with silly faces, bullied each other and then forgave one another in the end.

But I don't know why that the people once I knew were the kind of people I trusted the most were now gone?

It seemed as if our friendship wasn't even there in the beginning and I began to doubt myself as well.

For me, we were close, so close that we couldn't even stop talking or joking about things we wanted to say without doubting every single words.

I missed those times. Memories kept playing in my head, tears streaming down my face as I cried to sleep.

Our friendship bond was unreal but felt so surreal.

I honestly missed those times when we got to hug each other as we cried together, comforting ourselves with each other's presence without minding what other people say behind our backs.

They were like a family to me. They were my treasure.

They helped me overcome my constant depression. They helped me being me.

It was so beautiful that we created our own kingdom together.

But then, one day, everything started to fall apart.

(I got transferred to another school somehow during my parent's occassion to somewhere far away for two months and i met so many friends lol)

I was staying at my grandparent's house in the village at that time. Somewhere in those times, I felt like a stranger to my friends back in my school. I began to doubt myself more there.

(Okay so let me name you their names by their fake names lol; Hailey, Marry, Alia, Farah and Angel)

So, while I was busy scrolling down my Instagram, I felt something wrong with my heart. I didn't know why but the mystery was answered when Marry texted me that Alia somehow got jealous at me.

Marry told me that Alia felt like I conquered and slightly stole all of our friends from her. I don't know if it's jealousy or mad or sad but I cried.

I cried while hearing Marry's voice as she told the whole story through voice message. Gladly, my sister didn't look where I was seated so I cried as hard as I could.

Then, I did the most stupidiest thing ever. I bashed her on the status and story and told everyone through the media social app that she, Alia broke our hearts.

I was so stupid.

But then, we're fine. Then, another latter decided to make it's comeback on how she was behaving with her attitude.

So, Farah was the kind of person that tends to get moody at times. I was the closest to her, well, I thought I was.

You could say, or at least I could say that Farah is a social-introvert kind of person. Whenever she made mistakes even if it wasn't her fault (but she felt like it), she wouldn't talk to any of us for a day and asked for forgiveness through text.

I honestly didn't know how to react anymore but I promised to myself that if she make that attitude one more time, I won't give her another chance for my tears.

But I was stupid, useless, heartless.

I just wish these problems would end soon.

-- and it ended sooner than I thought.

One day, we just came back from our public holiday (again) and she was on her bad behaviour, being moody at the first day of school.

I was slightly pissed but I guess I just had enough of her attitude.

Fun fact; I did the most horrible, stupidiest and disgusting thing ever.

I ignored her.

I know, I'm stupid. So stupid. I just wanna cry.

For a whole week, we didn't talk to each other. We just passed by each other.

I . . honestly was expecting more from her like trying to get my attention back to her or at least comfort me with hugs but no. She didn't.

I thought that I was always for there when she needed me. We texted loving messages, hearts spreaded everywhere but I guess it was only through the text that we said each other's trusts.

I honestly, deeply thought that she would do something more towards me but she didn't.

I'm disappointed.

I disappointed in her, in myself.

So one day, I decided to text her. It was during our second day of finals examination.

I said that I forgave her. I said that "we seemed like we had chemistry together but we hadn't in the first place" and some more things that related to our friendship ended just like that.

She texted me back, saying that "you're my only friend, the one I tell my secrets to" and it went on.

I couldn't cry. My tears had enough till it went dry.

I couldn't trust those texts anymore.

And until now, we haven't talk to each other. Just some brief glances and glares that could possibly seen by everyone.

I thought that our friendship was strong, but it went downhill.

I missed those sweet smiles, your guys big laughter that we cherish every moment.

Our friendship that had inspired me to be better but I guess, we end here?

That's for the better, right?

And if any of you guys are reading this, I hope that you guys will remember our bittersweet friendship and throw it into the sea the next day.

Because I think that my presence in your wonderland frame is not worth your guys' times.

:)

Honestly, thank you for being there for my journey.

I'll always love you guys, no matter how you hate it.

Sincerely,
fragileblossom.