I Told You, I'm A Monster

Chapter Twelve.

Once left alone, Jimin relaxes as well as he can in his restraints and thinks of Hoseok, Jungkook, and how the hell he's going to get back to them.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jungkook is sitting in his room, getting ready to go to group therapy and reveling in the memories of the night before, of being with his Jimin again. He can't help the smirk curling up the corners of his mouth as he thinks of the way he writhed and rolled his hips to a rhythm that Jungkook knew was only for him. He feels the blood slowly rushing to his dick as he maneuvers into his wheelchair. A quick glance at the clock tells him he doesn't have any time to do anything about it, and he groans in frustration as he runs a hand through his messy hair. The action reminds him of the way he'd done the same to Jimin the first time they'd met.

"No, no, stop! Stop! That's mine!" A young boy sobs and pleads as two older boys try to wrench the stuffed rabbit out of his grasp.

"You're such a baby, Jimin!" One of the older boys laughs as he lets go of the toy, only to send Jimin falling backwards into the dirt.

"Yeah, only babies still need toys like that." The other rears his foot back and is about to kick Jimin when a fourth voice makes him freeze.

"HEY! You bullies leave him alone!" A boy younger than Jimin comes running up, his two front teeth prominent as he snarls at the two bullies and has his fists clenched at his sides. He stands defensively in front of Jimin when they don't make a move to leave. "I said, leave him alone."

"Let's go, Youngjae. It's not worth beating up two crybabies." One of the boys glares at the boy standing in front of Jimin before grabbing his friend's arm and turning to go home.

"Are you okay?" The younger boy kneels next to Jimin and brushes his hair from his forehead.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Charlie's fur got messed up and one of his ears is falling off, though." Jimin rubs his eyes as he looks down at the mangled stuffed rabbit in his lap.

"My Eomma can fix it! I like your rabbit's name. I have one named George." He helps Jimin stand up and brushes the dirt from his shorts. "My name's Jungkook."

"Hi, Jungkook. I'm Jimin." The two boys hold hands on their way to Jungkook's house and are set up with cookies and strawberry milk as Jungkook's mother fixes Charlie.

Jungkook chuckles despite himself. Their meeting was classically innocent and cliché. They'd grown up together, shared everything together, including their first kiss, first love, first heartbreak. How was anyone to know that their relationship would develop into what it had become?

He shakes his head in amusement. He'd certainly had no idea things would turn out like they did. He didn't have any clue when they were kids that they would come to have a love for playing pranks on people or what that would evolve into. But, thinking of such things will carry him down memory lane, which isn't something he wants to do right now. Some of those memories are too painful to bring up.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Good morning, Namjoon." Seokjin briskly enters Namjoon's room and stands in the center of it. "I would like you to know that I'm not going to give up on you. So, I don't care what you say, I don't care what you do to try to defer me or chase me off. It won't work."

"Then why have you left early twice this week? Oh wait, I know. One time was because of me, and the other time was because of Dr. Kim Taehyung yesterday. What did he do? Did he have a story like mine? Did he scare you?"

"This isn't about me, and frankly, that is none of your business." Seokjin's tone is a bit more sharp than he intended as he takes a seat.

"Ouch." Namjoon places his hand over his chest in mock pain. "That hurt, doctor. I thought we were building up a good rapport.

Seokjin chooses to ignore the patient's remark as he pulls out a pen and flips his notepad to a fresh page. "And about yesterday, well, you were right, the rest is in your chart, so we don't have to talk any of that, unless you want to."

"I want to talk about you, Dr. Kim. You know my story, and I want to know yours. I don't have a fancy chart like you do, so you're going to have to fill in some blanks for me, if you would be so kind."

"I don't have to do anything, Namjoon."

"Please?" Namjoon tries to make it seem like he says please all the time. "You know my life story, so I would really like to know yours. Or at least a part of it. It would make me more liable to open up to you." Every word Namjoon speaks feels like acid on his tongue, but he swallows back the need to vomit.

Seokjin concedes after a moment of mental deliberation. "Alright. I'll tell you something." He closes his notepad and folds his hands over it in his lap, his attention fully on Namjoon. "I had a brother. His name was Youngjae. He was mentally unstable, and he convinced his girlfriend to kill herself before he committed suicide. It was about a decade ago now. That's why I became a doctor. I want to prevent people like Youngjae from hurting or killing themselves and other people."

Namjoon is genuinely taken aback. He wasn't expecting Seokjin to tell him anything like that. It takes him a moment before he can think of anything to say. "Was Dr. Kim Taehyung his therapist?" Seokjin only nods, and Namjoon nods along with him. "I see. I'm sorry for mocking you."

Now it's Seokjin's turn to be surprised, but he tries not to show it. "Thank you, Namjoon." He opens his notepad again. "Now, shall we talk about something else?" Namjoon nods, and the two launch into a discussion about Namjoon's time at the mental hospital. They avoid topics about Namjoon's family and Seokjin's brother, and Seokjin walks away satisfied with the fact that they'd actually had a civil conversation without him having to flee from the room.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

That night, Namjoon lies wide awake in his bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about what Seokjin had told him. It's no wonder the man seemed a bit mentally unstable. Losing a family member is really fucking hard. Namjoon had experienced that firsthand when his whole family was ripped away from him in one day. But he can't and won't soften his heart to the doctor. Even if they are alike, and even if he's the most handsome man Namjoon has ever seen. Besides, it's not like Namjoon has a heart to be softened anyway.

If that's the case, though, why can't he get the doctor out of his mind? And why do thoughts of him as a person turn into thoughts of him underneath Namjoon on a bed as he makes love to him? Namjoon isn't gay. He's not. He loves fucking women.

But... there's just something about Seokjin that he can't quite put his finger on. And that bothers him greatly.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Seokjin has a similar problem as Namjoon that night. When he'd told him about Youngjae, he saw genuine concern on his face. He'd seen the human being that was underneath the hard shell of a person that life had turned him into. In those few seconds, Namjoon was truly beautiful. Seokjin had peeled back the first layer and seen what his patient was trying so hard to hide from the world.

As he's lying in bed that night, about to fall into a deep sleep, Namjoon's face pops into his mind. He's smiling a real smile that makes his handsome features more pronounced. Seokjin lets the image of his face evolve into what he might look like shirtless, and soon, that thought evolves into what his facial expressions and body movements would look like if he was fucking him. Seokjin feels his hands traveling slowly down his stomach, when suddenly he realizes what he's about to do. "What the hell am I thinking?" he murmurs to himself. He rolls onto his side and shoves his hands under his pillow as he tries to think about other things. As he sleeps, though, his dreams are filled with Namjoon fucking him in different positions, and he wakes up feeling flustered and in desperate need of a cold shower.

He can't give in to whatever this is.