Landslide: Before (Book 1) (GirlxGirl / lesbian/ LGBTQ)

Chapter Twenty-One

"Emery, wait!" Violet had chased after me. She appeared breathless in front of me. "I-I...damn it," She wheezed. "Sand is so hard to run on."

"Violet, what are you doing?" She held her finger up to me as she bent over to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry," She muttered between wheezes. "Can we talk somewhere else?"

"Oh, so now you want to talk," I quipped crossing my arms over my chest. Violet stepped closer, a pleading look in her eyes.

"Please, don't make this harder than it is, Emery." Her typically cold green eyes were bright and soft, gazing at me directly. "Please."

"Fine," I caved. "Come on, my car is down the street."

***

As we approached my house, I saw my mother's car and cursed under my breath. "I wasn't expecting her to be home," I said.

"Who?"

"My mom," I groaned as I parked the car and climbed out, Violet followed suite.

"I'm assuming that's a bad thing."

"Well, that depends," I said as I opened the front door.

"On what?" Violet asked, but before she could answer my mom shouted from the kitchen.

"Emery Elizabeth Davis!" I shrank back at the sound of my full name. "Come here right this instant."

"I'll be right back," I whispered awkwardly before skittering into the kitchen. My mom was sitting at the kitchen table, her hair pulled back in a tight bun on the top of her head. Her legs were crossed, her hands clasped together on the top of the table. The pager for the hospital sat beside her hands. My eyes landed on my failed test that was laying flat in front of my mom. "Hi, mom."

"Don't," Her eyes narrowed at me. "Care to explain this grade, Emery?"

"Oh, um..." I mumbled nervously rocking back and forth on my feet. "You see, I...um..."

"I am not shocked," She said, "You were always the black sheep of the family. Charlie, she is brilliant, driven, motivated. She doesn't let anything get in the way of her success. She is exactly what you should be. I thought having identical twins would mean you would be equally intelligent. But, apparently, Charlie got those genes, huh?" I ducked my head in shame. "Look at me when I am talking to you, Emery! You cannot expect me to sit back and watch you destroy your life. What happened to you, Emery? You were just as driven as your sister last year, what changed?"

I glared at my mother, "Do you really want to know what changed, mother? I'll tell you what happened. I came home one day to you and dad talking in his office. I wanted to tell you both the news that I had gotten straight A's again, boasting my GPA to being the same as Charlie's, like I knew I could. And do you want to know what I heard you and dad talking about? Care to take a guess?" I was shouting at my mother, angry tears rolling down my face as I confronted her. "You two were talking about how much of a failure I was. You were going on about how unintelligent I was, how you wished Charlie was your only child because she was just so perfect. Do you remember that? I do. I hear those words every day in my head. Imagine, hearing your parents talk about how they wish you didn't exist. That your twin was so insanely great at everything she did, that you didn't even matter.

"I have done nothing but try to please you my whole life. I have spent every waking minute of my existence since then trying to prove to you that I was worth having as a daughter too. All you ever saw was failure."

"Emery, dear, calm down," She tried to soothe me, but I was picking up speed. I graduated from a tropical storm to a hurricane, and it was only going to get worse from here.

"No! You have been dictating my life from day one, and I am sick of it, mom!" I stepped toward her. "What classes I take, what job I should have, who I date, everything! It's always been about you."

"And you're better for it! Those classes pushed you harder and made you smarter. And Sawyer, she is great for you," She said wistfully. "So intelligent and motivated, she will take you places with her. She is honestly the best thing about you. She makes you better."

"Then I bet this will just make me more of a failure in your eyes then."

"What, Emery?" She looked at me exasperatedly.

"We broke up."

"What on earth did you do to make such an amazing girl break up with you? You have to go win her back, Emery. She had such a positive influence on you!"

I laughed bitterly. "I like that you assume that I messed up. She cheated on me. So I dumped her."

"Well, you clearly drove her away, dear. Sawyer must have just found someone better. It's a pity. I can't imagine you finding anyone as good as her who could love you," She commented offhandedly.

"I knew you'd find some way to turn this on me," I wiped my face free of tears. "I will never please you. I don't even understand how Charlie is still trying to. There is no possible way to make you happy; to make you proud." I turned around and left the kitchen. My mother's heels clacking against the tile as she followed me. Violet wasn't in the living room where I left her. For a moment I panicked that she left, but when I peered up the stairs I saw her sitting at the top waiting for me.

"Emery, don't you dare walk away from me, we are not done talking about this."

"What is there left to talk about, mom?" I yelled.

"I just want you to succeed. It's tough out in the real world, and you will thank me for all the pressure later. I promise you that."

"Yeah? I'm positive I will not be thanking you for crap."

"You shouldn't talk to your mother like this, dear," She said through clenched teeth. Her eyes were ablaze with anger.

"And you shouldn't treat your daughters like this." I stood resolute in my spot, arms crossed defiantly. My mother sighed heavily, rubbing her face. She opened her mouth to speak again but the pager in her hand went off.

"We're not done talking, Emery," She said gathering her work bag from the hall closet.

"Whatever, go be someone else's hero," I said bitterly and turned racing up the stairs. I snagged Violet's hand as I paced and pulled her into my room, slamming the door shut. Violet backed herself up, giving me room to breathe. My chest was heaving up and down as I struggled to regulate my breathing. I kept pacing across the floor, my hands balling into tense fists angrily. Everything was red. I was livid. I couldn't believe the nerve of my mother, all the things she said. I wanted to scream. I did scream. But, the most shocking thing of the evening was that Violet stayed. She stayed and she was here. And all the emotions from the past week hit me like a tidal wave. It all rushed up and bubbled over pouring out of my eyes.

A strangled sob ripped its way out of me and I crumbled, but I didn't feel the pain from hitting the floor. Instead, I felt arms wrapping around me and a body cushioning my fall. Looking up through teary eyes I found her green ones gently staring back at me, concern etched across her face. And, for the first time since I met Violet, she wasn't helping me up off the ground after I broke down. No...she was holding me as I fell apart.

Something changed between us in that moment. No longer were we holding ourselves to this impossible standard of keeping our emotions in check. We were both vulnerable; our guards were down as I clung to her and she held me close.

I let her see me at my weakest.

And, for once, Violet stayed. 

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Next update: Monday 10/30

There will be much more interaction between the girls in the following chapters.