Random Thoughts

I'm done

I'm done with marching band tbh. I'm so over it, luckily it's almost over. I'm done with some of my family too tho, mostly my brother, dad, and stepmom. My brother is an asshole and scares the shit out of me, gives me panic attacks, makes fun of me, and talks shit about me both to my face and when he doesn't think I can hear. The nicest things he'll say about me aren't even to my face so fuck him. My dad likes comparing me to him when I'm nothing like and tbh next time he tries I'm just gonna say that if I'm so similar to him then I just won't go to college, get bunked down to all regular classes, and settle for a job that I don't even like that much. And he constantly forgets shit about me and has called me a bitch and sent me into panic attacks. He acts like he's some fucking saint too. He's racist and constantly makes a big deal out of nothing. Last night me, my stepmom, my dad, and my sister were gonna meet up with my bro and his gf at a restaurant and my dad was driving and my bro wasn't there yet bc him and his gf went to watch a movie earlier and my dad was telling my stepmom to text my bro. When we were waiting for my bro and his gf at the restaurant my dad told my stepmom to text my bro again bc she's been doing that and she then said "he's your son not mine." Like wtf??? Bitch you're in this fucking family stfu???? And when my dad was talking about what he liked more about my bros new gf over his past ones they were saying how she smiled and talked and shit.... now that lowkey made me feel a little shitty bc I know I probs wouldn't smile/talk if I was meeting my s.o.'s family bc I'd be freaking the fuck out inside...... sorry if I seem like I'm overreacting bc I probs am but last week and this weekend were v stressful and long..... I can't wait for next year when my bro and sis go to college, I'll hopefully have my drivers license by then and might move in with my mom permanently instead of this back and forth bs between my mom and dad.